W.O.W. Day 5

7:45 a.m.- Muffled Hispanic voice: "Housekeeping?" Confused/perplexed/WTF look across my face as I sit up in the grimy hotel bed. Muffled Hispanic voice: "Housekeeping? Sir? I need to change linens?" Stumbling over to the door I ask for ten more minutes to get ready. I had no idea that my morning wake-up would be a petite woman asking me to change the sheets this early. I think I would have preferred the earwig instead. 8:02 a.m.- I think...

W.O.W. Day 4

7:30 a.m.- Got up a bit earlier than expected. Didn’t have an earwig to greet me. Things are only going up from here on out. 8:12 a.m.-I liked Penny’s Diner so much I decided to head on over and grab a quick Denver Omelet. John Travolta didn’t greet me like she did last night, but I was still taken care of. Behind me sat two construction workers who were grabbing some coffee and a doughnut meanwhile the F-bomb littered their vocabulary. ...

W.O.W. Day 3

8:57 a.m.- Rolled out of bed this morning, sadly I wasn't greeted by an insect. They must have better room service here. The shower however was a little disappointing as the water pressure seemed like the nozzle was just drooling on me. I was a split-second away from grabbing the telephone by the toilet and asking for better room service. 10:10 a.m.- Senior day starts for the kids here at Evanston High School. For some reason they're all...

W.O.W. Day 2

8:45 a.m.- As my alarm goes off I notice a 2-inch earwig just chilling on the pillow next to me. I'm not sure if this is their version of a continental breakfast. I then proceed to be hosed off by the nozzle mistakingly confused as a shower head. The water is scorching out so fast it could remove the paint from my car. I think the red scars on my chest will be a constant reminder about the Lazy B Inn. You could give me the nickname of "The Boy...

The Week of Wyoming!

You know, I have gotten really into this "Week of _________" theme lately. I've got topics left and right to choose from, but I think that it has been pretty entertaining to jot down my thoughts from different angles on a whole slew of subjects. I know I just finished up the monthly topic for September, but I thought for the reader's preference that I would give you a condensed version of where my life is headed, at least for the next 108 hours....

True L-word

I think that this post pretty much sums up the entire W.O.D. in a nutshell. For a comedic effect, download "What is Love" by Haddaway from iTunes and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. Or if you're looking for something a little bit more sentimental and romantic, why not try "Somewhere Out There" by Our Lady Peace. That tune can help erase images of Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan bobbing their heads in sync at the Roxbury....

The Relationship Status

I have talked a lot this week about what defines a relationship. The true factors that make up a bond between two people. In the past two W.O.D.'s that I have done, I have talked about first date personas, games that are played, being a gentleman, and the in's and out's of kissing. But...I will say that the sole factor that truly defines what a relationship is the digital crutch that we are all leaning upon; Facebook. Yes that's right kids, the...

I Don't Like Big Buts

From the title and the iconic image that I used for this post, you already know what song to download from iTunes and play a maximum volume throughout the duration of your reading. If you haven't figured it out yet, just type in Sir Mix-A-Lot into the search bar, and YouTube his disgusting one-hit wonder. In other news, I will give a short shout out to any of my fellow Royals out there that are reading this post. I spent this morning recruiting...

Who Has The Power?

I might as well get used to this location.With my eyelids drooping and yet another day stumbling along, I thought I would delve into yet another component of dating and relationships, this of course being the highly touted W.O.D. part deux. Thank you Charlie Sheen. Oh by the way his angels are making their second-tier debut tonight on television. Join the classy yet casual shindig at my apartment if you'd like to. I wont be there, but Chief Kent...

I Should Have Signed A Pre-Nup

So I was at a wedding last week. Don't worry, not mine. The single me is still in tact. Like I'm sure most of you are worried about. No worries though, I'm still here. Anyway, I was making my rounds at this wedding, and it was a grand occasion. One of my better friends, VRM Garth Shiftyeyes had finally taken his girl to the altar after close to two years of dating. They are a happy couple, an exciting couple, a couple that is madly and deeply in L-word. And while I stood on the side and watched him serenade her with "If Tomorrow Never Comes"...

The DTR

Yes, those three bold letters are crucial when it comes to understanding where a couple stands in the dating process. I'm sure every one of us has had a DTR at some point in time. And I'm sure it was probably as awkward as could be whenever this acronym happens. For the record the letters DTR stand for "determine the relationship." Awkward, I know. Initially, a DTR starts out with the phrase, "So what are we?" This is followed by an awkward lowering of the chin and random movement of the hand back and forth at chest level. The instigator of...

The Best Advice I Never Heard

This may sound like a rushed post, but believe me, I have plenty of things on my plate currently, so the majority of my attention is not going to be focused on writing. I will however attempt to entertain you for a good solid three and a half minutes like I usually do with these posts. And I'm sure I have the ability to keep a chuckle across your face with the intro to the Week of Dating, part deux. For the record, I am saying Part Deux, in honor...

The W.O.D. Part II

With the month winding down I will now be transcribing another weekly topic. For those not too familiar with Randomity, I select a topic to hash out and discuss for an entire week with any comments or pokes from my audience. This month, my half-empty demeanor has shuffled me back to a topic in which I previously discussed a few months earlier, and I felt that there were even more angles to attack this subject from. With that being said, I unveil...Wait for it...The Week of Dating; Part Deux! Yeah, I know I've brought this up before, but there...

Do You Know So-And-So?

The soggy night is fading on, and I’m midway through a “Bro-date”. We just had a very manly dinner at the Outback and are waiting for a very manly movie later on. As noted in my status, Bro-Code rule #317 states that if four Bros ever go out for dinner and a movie, the c-word should never be uttered mid-conversation. By c-word I mean cute. That lingo instantly diminishes our masculinity. In between our steaks and cinema, myself, Rocksteady, Chief Kent, are seated in our living room listening to Four-Eyed Fidelito, (nice blogalias eh?) pluck...

When I am an Old Man

So I may have had someone get after me for not updating my blog recently. Yeah, I’m a slacker. This is the busiest time of year, and there are some crucial things going on in my life at this point, but hey, I can’t let you down. I need to give you 36 readers that seven and a half minute highlight for your day that will keep your mind occupied meanwhile you’re dropping the kids off at the pool. Especially you, Rocksteady. In other news, I...

Unshaven Red Rock

I'm still on the road roaming from town to town as a traveling salesman living out of the back of my Nissan Rogue. Today's journey has carried me from Richfield to Beaver to Cedar City, including pit stops on the side of the road with highway patrol lights flashing in my rearview. But don't worry, I know how to talk my way out of those types of situations. Cop: "Mr. Bybee we clocked you going 73 in a 55. Did you know that you were speeding?" Swamp...

Dates With Myself

So I sit here in the epitome of a run-down old-timers movie theatre in classic Richfield, Utah. Yes that's right kids, I'm hard at work on a Tuesday night, fully immersed in my attempts at convincing high school students to join the ranks of the Red Storm. If you read my last post you caught a sliver of a glimpse at what life is like for me, on the road in the middle of nowhere that is. For full effect, download "Sparks" by Coldplay from iTunes...

Life On The Road

Lying on a worn out leather couch on a Saturday afternoon wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a Buckeyes t-shirt, I think that I’ve finally gotten caught up with the whir and commotion that made up my life this past week. Gratefully I tip my hat to the season premier of college football to keep my sanity at a “normal” level. Lately I’ve tried to “catch up” on my sleep, but for some reason I was informed that doing so is physically and mentally...