Rather than post a Facebook link with all my useless tagged pictures hosting the tagline, “Thanks for all of the memories” or something else cheesy like that, I’ll go classy on this year to remember business and bombard you with a sarcastic/sentimental recounting of the last year of my life. Go ahead and close this browser now if you don’t want to laugh and cry in a matter of four minutes.
For full effect, download “Butcher’s Tale” by The Zombies, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.
I’m actually kind of excited that 2015 is only a few hours away. Mainly because according to Robert Zemeckis and Michael J. Fox, this is the year we all get hoverboards. I’m sure every other kid born in the 80’s has been counting down the years until those glorious contraptions are invented. I know we all can’t wait to have self-drying clothes like the ones Marty Mcfly wears, but before we jump to what the world is going to look like through Back to the Future glasses, lets just take a second to soak in the last 525,600 minutes of my life.
2014 was…well, it was a year I couldn’t have planned any better. At times it almost felt like I was on repeat, cycling through the motions of calendars past, but there were other moments where I encountered paths I have never walked down before, and traveled to places that only existed in my dreams. 2014 had without question some of the best moments I have ever experienced in my 29-year, 9-month history. Moments that intoxicate people like dandelion wine on a hot summer afternoon. It was golden I tell you. Absolutely golden.
In 2014 I was a nomad. On the road and in the sky. On busses, jets, golf carts, L-trains, subways, 15-passenger vans, ski lifts, rental cars, taxis, and on foot. I racked up more miles than a Visa frequent flyer card can keep track of. Journeying to exotic lands such as Cabo San Lucas, Seattle, Chicago, and Duchesne. I traveled more this year than I have ever done before, surrounded by friends, family, audiobooks, and empty bottles of Mt. Dew to keep me company.
We talk about the defining moments of our lives all the time. And there may have been a few dotting my pages in 2014. Saw my first professional baseball game, four of them for that matter. Took a three-day road trip with a pair of twins born three decades later than they should have been who in turn got me two speeding tickets in under 90 minutes. Slept next to a drug addict on a Greyhound overnight while holding $21,000 in a dufflebag. Ate Mexican tacos at 2 am from a street vendor who used her dog as the waitress. Said goodbye to the greatest sitcom that I’ve been subconsciously modeling my life after. Saw the Grand Canyon for the first time in my life. Yes, it was from the window of a 747, but either way that crevasse Paul Bunyan’s axe dug up sure is spectacular.
2014 was, well it was incredible. That’s all I can say. Watched my little sister exchange vows on the beaches of Mexico. Went on a Brocation with some fellers and toured the Pacific Northwest, Brooksby’s bowels and all. Ran, swam, and biked like a half-iron lunatic for the second year in a row. Became unintentionally intoxicated and performed the best version of Bohemian Rhapsody a karaoke party has ever witnessed. And I sang “Carmen Ohio” with 108,000 other screaming nutcases in the most decorated football arena I have ever had the privilege of visiting.
Who knows, maybe next year when I’m writing my annual year of remembrance blogpost, I’ll be back there again. Surrounded by a bunch of nuts.
2014 has been the best year of my life. There’s no question about that. Dined like a millionaire, ran like a Kenyan, laughed like a drunk, and cried like a stay at home Mother of four. 2014 was simply, beautiful. That’s the best way to put it.
And I can’t wait to see what happens next…