Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Do You Know So-And-So?

The soggy night is fading on, and I’m midway through a “Bro-date”. We just had a very manly dinner at the Outback and are waiting for a very manly movie later on. As noted in my status, Bro-Code rule #317 states that if four Bros ever go out for dinner and a movie, the c-word should never be uttered mid-conversation. By c-word I mean cute. That lingo instantly diminishes our masculinity.

In between our steaks and cinema, myself, Rocksteady, Chief Kent, are seated in our living room listening to Four-Eyed Fidelito, (nice blogalias eh?) pluck away on his guitar and belt out the lyrics to a random song about a guy who has a relationship with a houseplant. I have no idea where the song comes from, but Fidelito is a talented sucker with a six-stringed strummer tucked away between his fingers.

For full effect, download “Remember the Name” by Fort Minor and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. Either that, or if you can find the random tune about a guy loving houseplants, you’ve got my blessing as well.

Driving in the rain this afternoon I passed exit 42 southbound on I-15, this exit takes you to a tiny town called New Harmony. I know a few folks from this neck of the woods, in fact we even have an ambassador working for us from New Harmony, a great one at that. I even remember the first time the two of us had a conversation. It went as follows:

Swamp Thing: “So where are you from then?”

New Harmony Ambassador: “I’m from a small town up the road called New Harmony. Have you ever heard of it?”

Swamp Thing: “Yeah, once or twice. New Harmony huh? That’s cool. I went out with a girl from New Harmony. Do you know New Harmony Cardboard 5?

New Harmony Ambassador: “Uh, yeah, I’ve met her once or twice. She’s fun.”

Cut to awkward pause between the two of us as we both sat in sullen silence with the realization that we both know the same person. OMG! THAT IS SO AMAZING!

Why is it our natural instinct to ask someone mid-conversation if they know someone when we find out the location of their origin? ‘Oh, you’re from there? Do you know so-and-so? Cool! So do I! That is so amazing!’

When in reality it’s not. We both know the same person? Well LA-DEE-FREAKIN-DA! (Say in a Chris Farley accent). Yeah, there are some cues to reminiscing about all of the good times, or bad times, that we had with so-and-so, but for the majority of the time it’s not going to matter whatsoever.

I often found an exaggeration of this so-and-so questioning when I spent a couple of years on the other side of the country, when in random conversations people would find out about my hometown and ask if I knew so-and-so as well.

Virginia: “Oh, you’re from Utah? Do you know Kelly?”

Swamp Thing: Blank stare of pure awkwardness.

Virginia: “Kelly’s from Utah, you have to know her.”

Swamp Thing: Continued blank stare… “Yes. Yes I do.”

Virginia: OMG, that is SOOOO cool!”

Cut to awkward silence.

Why do we instinctually wonder if someone we just met knows someone that we know from our past? Why do we care about this at all? Why is Four-Eyed Fidelito singing a song about a man who is in love with a plant? I have no idea. The only thing that I know for certain is this, if four Bros ever go out on a Bro-date, the c-word should never be said.

Cut to awkward silence.

What do you think?

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