Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ashley Madison.com

So how is this "Week of Sex" treating you? Is it as good for you as it is for me? That is a question that you ask the other person once you get out of the hot tub isn't it? At least I think that's what they say in the movies.

As I was sifting through the topics for Day 3 of "Week of Sex" I came across a website that has absolutely stunned me. You may in fact have heard of this website if you are married and have looked online for a way to meet people who will have an affair with you. That's right, I am referring to the jezebel of .coms, the pernicious digital hooker who rampages solid relationships, the harlot made up of 1's and 0's, THE Ashley Madison.

If you are unfamiliar with what Ashley Madison is, check out this banned Super Bowl commercial that explains everything in 31 seconds.

Yeah I know, right? Is this not the most perverted thing since Hugh Hefner's conception? Started in 2002, this site claims to have over 9 million anonymous members. That's 9 million registered affairs on the internet! It is here when the acronym WTF gets put to good use. Not only do they talk about the discreet and secret love that gets made, they have a 100% affair guarantee. Let me understand this correctly, if I join Ashley Madison that means there's a 100% chance that I will be a dishonest, cheating, selfish, insincere, prick with a penis, who is more two-faced than Tommy Lee Jones in "Batman Forever"?

Yes. That is correct.

Our culture is so obsessed and drawn to sex, that we have created absolutely any way possible to destroy relationships, even if that means an online affair site. Heck, for better P.R. they should have free divorce coupons you can print off along with your registered affair. The founders of this site undoubtedly have a place reserved in Hell right next to Hitler, and the two mayors of Sodom and Gomorrah.

It's never going to end. The fanbase will continue to grow at a blazing pace. They'll probably get a Facebook fan page in the next few months. Oh that's right. They already have one. If you like them, you are a pervert and need to give your spouse more attention. I know I will. I am never going to cheat on my Russian mail-order inflatable bride doll. She just doesn't deserve it.

What do you think?


  1. Holy crap... this is for real? Thats awful!

  2. I love the "affair guarantee". Really? The people looking on this site need some sort of guarantee? This better work or else...?? Do they get their money back if they don't get some? Or are they just guaranteed to find a fellow whore...that must be it...because there is 100% guarantee that anyone else on this site is just as retarded as the next. ....A very special place in hell....!

  3. PS. Dear old Ashley and I go WAY back...back when my EX husband went looking for that discreet 100% guarantee. Free Divorce coupons are a brilliant idea...but then what would lawyers do? I wonder if it was a divorce lawyer who started it...?

  4. The only 100% guarantee is that they will take your money...nearly all the successful reviews are fakes. In the grand scheme of things, its the cheaters who are getting cheated.