Thursday, May 26, 2011

I Am Not Compassionate; Part II

I received an interesting response from a mission buddy last night in regards to yesterday's post, "I Am Not Compassionate". For the record, his blogalias shall be VRM Arch Deluxe. In his response he wrote:

"Women have a completely different view of compassion than men do, and you didn't ask any of your male friends if they felt that you were truly the Hitlerite that women believed you to be. How about tomorrow you give us some insight from the other gender?"

Well thanks good pal of mine. Thanks so much for not throwing me under the bus like my Grandma and sister did. I appreciate the love. Because of this, I did ask and text all of the male buddies that I could find the following question:

"I'm having an argument with my sister. Help me out if you don't mind. Am I a compassionate person?"

Here is what I received in just over 45 minutes. Of course their names have been changed to fit their blogaliases.

"God made the doctor's remove the part of your brain that makes you care." -M. Brave Aurelius

"You are more compassionate than Hitler." -VRM Layton Rocker

"You are probably the most insensitive person I've ever met." -Johnny Trojan

"You were very liberal with your lips skills, and always made sure to give all our dates goodnight kisses. I'd say that's compassionate." - Y. Jazz Junkie

"I remember sitting in a conference and when a kid tried to sit down at our table, and you looked at him dead serious and said, 'Who said you could sit at this table?' I still feel bad his face was so sad." -VRM Mt. Pleasant Baker

"You are such a compASSionate person." - The Ogling Thunder

"You're as compassionate as Santa Claus the week after Christmas." -Chief Kent

"I think you would kill a man for a Klondike bar. That's being compassionate for you, I would say." -VRM Pete Banker

"It was so compassionate of you, to NEVER tell any of the girls that you broke up with them. You thought that to just stop talking to them seemed to fit." -The Swede

"No." -B.F.F. Circleville

"Compassion? HA! You're the kind of guy that would kick Shirley Temple in the ovaries and laugh while she sobbed." -VRM Bald Canuck

"Not really. You're more honest with me. Even it gets my feelings hurt and I turn into an emo." -Rock Steady

"Well, compassion is such a broad term. Would you pick up a bird that was hurt? Yes. But after that it's a little shady." - The Crimson Walker

"You appear to be compassionate because you watch shows like Glee. But in all reality, you watch it so that you can model your life after Sue Sylvester." -Fishmitts

"You are manly compassionate, but highly informed by virtue of your education. You can fully understand the need for female compassion, but are ultimately a "shit or get off the pot" cold-blooded logical male." -VRM Garth Shiftyeyes

"My wife and I have been trying to think of a time in your life when we knew you were compassionate... nothing comes to mind." -The Hairbrush Aggies

"Well, if I had to compare your compassionate attributes to that of an animated character. I would say you rival Cartman from South Park's compassion. I can't count how many girls I have seen you make cry." -Phat Kid

"I would assume that your form of compassion includes curse words." -VRM Seattle Sub

"The only time I've ever seen you be compassionate is when you're horny or spiritual. You always tell someone to their face when they're being stupid." -Steak Style Balloon

"OH, HELL NO!!!" -VRM Pink Sputnik

"In a word, No." -Goodyear Scotchsketcher

"Brock Bybee in my opinion shows compassion to many things in life, the other things not so much. Now, what those things are that he has compassion for, I have no idea." -Half Empty Buffalo

"You're basically Scrooge McDuck. You know, minus the feathers and the tower full of gold." -Roger Winston Eddingbright the 3rd.

Wait, what? I was fishing for compliments here guys, compliments! Can't you back a brother up? In less than an hour I sat stumped, chagrined, bamboozled, at the betrayal of my Testosteronian comrades for their replies as to whether or not I have compassion. But then again, they're probably right. Maybe I don't have compassion at all. Maybe my heart really is three sizes too small. I would say that one of the last responses that I got pretty much sums up my non-compassionate persona, in which he said:

"You are so compassionate that if someone ever knocked on our apartment door for help, you would just quietly lock the door." -Arizona Weezer.

What do you think?


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