Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Sex Messaging

Disclaimer: this post is littered with dirty words and phrases. For the sake of the reader I would like to let you know that if you feel uncomfortable seeing any words associated with sex, it would be best to stop reading. If not, then enjoy.

This world is addicted to text messaging. They are also addicted to sex. Why not combine both of them to write one of the most monumental posts in the history of weblogs? Alright, don't mind if I do.

First of all, I would just like to take a moment to address the awkwardness of sex words. Honestly, whoever initially scribed the English language thought up the most awkward sounding nouns and verbs possible.

Think about it; Vagina? Penis? Orgasm? Testicles? Menstruation? Are you not turning red just reading them on this screen? I'm blushing just typing these words. What about erection? Or areola? Don't tell me you don't feel embarrassed by the word masturbation. That one almost tops them all. Second only to the infamous "C-word". If you don't know what I'm talking about, Jerry Seinfeld's dirty named girlfriend rhymes with the C-word. And no, her last name isn't Hunt.

Dirty words put people in a squirming position whenever they try to say them. But typing them? That's a completely different ballpark. People will text message some things that they wouldn't be caught dead delivering orally. (Not THAT kind of oral delivery, get your mind out of the gutter.)

At one point or another I think every single one of us has sent a dirty text message to a member of the opposite sex. And here's why; the receiver of the message can't read your nonverbal cues to tell how serious you are with the message sent via text.

For example:

Guy text message: "I want to lick your nipples and run my hands all over your body. I am so hard right now thinking of you."

The woman then has two ways of responding.

Female Response #1: "Eww you sick perv, what is wrong with you?"

The man then responds with: lol, : ), hahaha, sorry my friend took my phone to play a mean joke lol : )

Following his message the man loses interest because she's not as dirty as he thought she was and therefore, he's wasting his time. He will now go look somewhere else where he may try to cast out his next dirty text.

Female Response #2: "Oh yeah big boy? I wanna feel you all over me. Big dick and all!"

The two then proceed to have "text sex" which involves staying awake until 6 in the morning sending the most crude, dirty, foul-filled photos possible, and losing their digital virginity.

You may be shaking your head in disgust at the last 150 words, but deep-down in the lowest unlit corners of your soul you know this is true because you have witnessed it firsthand. We all have.

The whole point of this dirty discourse is to just state the obvious that no one dares to state. We as a world love text and we also love sex. We all know what happens when the two are mixed. A sexual social media frenzy to which teenagers are currently addicted to.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What do you think?


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