Sunday, June 12, 2011

The W.O.D. (Week of Dating)

Last month having introduced the, wait for it, LEGENDARY "Week of Sex", I prefaced how I would be taking a specific topic and blogging about it for an entire week. Discussing unique points and angles of that specific topic. I hinted that I would be talking about the hallowed "M-word" this month, but then again, how am I going to know anything about the M-word? I'm still a single putz! Therefore I thought I would discuss the M-words precursor; Dating.

Oh yes, the game of love and war that we have all experienced, or will soon experience at one point in our lives. For the record, I currently am knee-deep in dating shenanigans with amusing stories that I will use to entertain my posterity in years to come at Christmas parties. I don't think I am at the point yet where I will sit down with my kids and recount how I met their mother in a Bob Saget accent, but then again, who knows.

The entire concept of dating is a mind-boggling conglomeration of amusement, frustration, and I-can't-believe-I-just-did-that emotions that run through our systems as we knock on a door, ask for her number, or open her car door. The world we live in now is advocating a revolutionary type of lifestyle called "online dating" in which we find our soulmates via the Net, or as Roger Winston Eddingbright the 3rd calls it, the "InterWeb". There will be an entire post dedicated to this glorious yet saddening outbreak later this week.

Relationship cycles between two people are fascinating to watch and understand as they are ignited, develop, blossom and or crash and burn in a matter of 3 weeks or 3 years. Just by watching my friends and peers, I almost get a sense of what to do, and what not to do in a dating relationship. I say this from a Dr. Philian perspective, but then again I don't seem to apply these same principles to my own life. I am the one who does create infamous blunders such as "Text-Gate". Yes, I am that stupid.

Lucky Day: Reading telegram: "Three Amigos, Hollywood, California. You are very great. 100,000 pesos. Come to Santa Poco put on show, stop. The In-famous El Guapo."

Dusty Bottoms: "What does that mean, in-famous?"

Ned Nederlander: "Oh, Dusty. In-famous is when you're MORE than famous. This man El Guapo, he's not just famous, he's IN-famous."

Dusty Bottoms: "Wow, in-famous? In-famous?"

Brock Bybee: "Yes, Text-Gate was In-famous."

More will come as I try to break down and analyze this classic concoction known as courtship. I'll do my best to give you my two cents, but then again I am a menace to society, a single creature who's just about pulling a Matthew McConaughey impersonation from "Failure to Launch". At the end of this week my readers may think to themselves, 'No wonder this freakshow is still single.' That's alright, I can handle that.

My Grandma says that phrase to me every day.

What do you think?


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