Monday, March 7, 2011

What I've Done


Thank you Linkin Park for lyrically inspiring the theme of this post.

Call me superficial, call me cocky, call me a sweat-stained bastard for all I care, but as I lay here in bed staring at the ceiling recounting the past 26 years of my life, I wonder what I have accomplished, what I have achieved, what I have done in my life. So here's a list of all of the great and mountain-topping glories I have celebrated in my time on this planet. Cue Chester Bennington.

* I hold the record at the Virginia Beach Fuddruckers for fastest time completing the Two Pound Challenge.

* I have won consecutive Stake Championships in the epic athletic brawl known as Church Ball.

* I can sing verbatim the entire Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." All the way from 'Jacob and Sons' to 'Any Dream Will Do.'

* I have still remained heterosexual after accomplishing the previous feat.

* I have seen all 60 episodes of the brilliantly written show "Dexter."

* I have successfully defeated 'The Dynasty' in multiple battles of Beer Pong. For the record, it was Dew Pong for me.

* I have solved a Rubik's Cube all the way to step five, and gave up because of hysterical confusion about trying to understand the fish on top.

* I have been Microsoft-free since 2002.

* I am the only known student at Municipal Elementary to have been duck-taped and jump-rope tied to a folding chair on my teachers 37th birthday.

* I once memorized "The Lion King" word for word and serenaded at a swimming pool.

* I did have a stuffed animal club when I was 7 years old, and would hold nightly meetings.

* I have once driven to the St. George Wal-Mart and back using only my knees.

* I have kissed a Ginger.

* I have understood the Pre-Menstrual Syndrome Cycle after living in an estrogen-encrusted home for 12 years.

* I have still remained heterosexual after accomplishing the previous feat.

* I have defeated Super Mario Bros. 1, 2, 3, and World.

* I have never watched more than 45 consecutive seconds of 'American Idol'

In all reality, I have lived one incredible life. Have done as much as I could so far in these first 26 years, and who knows what will happen in the next 26. As humble as this sounds, one can compare me to that noble comrade from the Dos Equis commercials.

Stay thirsty my friends...

What do you think?

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