Thursday, December 29, 2011

What Kind of Uncle Are You?

How’s the holiday season treating you? I hope well. Did everyone out there enjoy the pairs of church socks that Santa gave them? Or what about the 24-hour marathon of “A Christmas Story" on TBS? Don’t tell me everyone didn’t love the awkward family relationships that annually develop with estranged second cousins. That’s what the holidays are all about isn’t it?

For full effect, download “Criminal Minds” by Randy Newman, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. Either that or turn on "Uncle Buck" from Netflix. Classic John Candy, can't go wrong with that chunk of comedy.

The reason I chose that song was it has some serious lyrics about the life of an Uncle. I was going to select a song by Terrence and Philip about shutting an Uncle’s mouth, but then again, I’m not that vulgar. You know exactly what song I’m talking about, Fishmitts.

I just returned from an enjoyable evening at my sister’s house. You remember my sister Laura don’t you? If not, here’s a resurrected blogpost about my sibling and her family. An awesome family they are. More than awesome. Don’t tell anyone, but I think she’s one of my favorite sisters. One of the ten to choose from, but she’s way up there on the list.

It was an enjoyable time exchanging gifts, talking about work, kids, life, and seeing my nephew show off his LSU Fox Robot Cletus. (Yes Blake, my cousin does in fact have an LSU robot. Can you believe that?) All in all, it was fun spending time with my nephew and nieces. Hopefully, I was as good of an uncle that they deserved.

The Faux Diva: “Well, my sister is having a baby this spring, I’m not sure if it’s a boy or a girl, so I’ll either be an Uncle or an Aunt.”

Yes, that’s a direct quote from someone who will not be named. But the topic of this blogpost is relating to the Uncles that we all have in our lives. Think about that for just a minute while Randy Newman strums away. I’ve had some pretty decent Uncles. Some good ones I might add. I had one who would play basketball with me in parking lots. I had one who taught me how to play the piano. I even have one who invented the treadmill. He’s not too bad.

I’ve also had some real goober Uncles in my life. Some real pretentious losers. Now, I’m not going to name any names or anything, plus I’m trying to be more positive in my life, but let’s just say I once had an Uncle randomly give me a set of used ski poles. That’s right, used. What a bag of douche. And it only goes downhill from there.

The point is, we all have Uncles in our lives. Whether they’re annoying alcoholics, or hilarious hunks, we all have a handful of our parents siblings that we either love, hate, or don’t really know much about because we never see them. The question that I ask all of you guy readers, and I know that in the blogging world there aren’t many of those, what kind of Uncle are you?

As the night wound down and the goodbye formalities were being exchanged between us, my 4-year old niece Bailey walked over to me and hugged my kneecap. “Thank you Uncle Brock” she said sweetly and drew a smile across her ginger face. It was in that moment when I had a heart-skipping personal realization.

I’m going to be the best damn Uncle that these kids are ever going to have.

What do you think?


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