Tuesday

On to day two. The dreaded, the feared, the slightly less than evil from what we just forced ourself through 24 hours earlier. The one and only Tuesday! Please, hold your applause.

Tuesday is a whole new ballpark to suit up for. Thank you Barney Stinson for that glorious two-word phrase by the way. If you are a Monday fellow and you actually stay committed to your previous day’s resolution on a Tuesday, it opens a few eyes, but not many. Tuesday is saying that you are ready for some type of commitment, but not the full-out onslaught of a serious relationship. You will give her your number and go out a few times, but you’re not going to move in together or say that you are actually “dating.”

Tuesdays are the tuna sandwich at Subway

For full effect download “Ruby Tuesday” by The Rolling Stones and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.

Showing up on Tuesday means that that we actually took in the realization that this week is already steamrolling across the calendar, and we have to face the facts and be men, and show up for all of our “big-kid” responsibilities. The majority of the Tuesday-ers are in fact Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday-ers as well, but not all of them are. There are a few Monday chums that show up on Tuesday. But they can’t be stocked in the Tuesday classification, because deep down they don’t have the resolve or motivation or the pride to move on to Wednesday.

I say that we are more gobbled up by big-kid priorities on Tuesday because for some reason that’s when the little kids inside of us get stuffed into the closet and hidden away until the end of the week. On Tuesday we are focused more on our chemistry tests than our potential ice cream sundae contests, our quarterly budgets, more than our potentially funny knock-knock jokes. Tuesday makes us realize that there is more to life than just liking someone’s status, or having a Mario Kart battle. We actually have to go back and read the 47 pages of Chapter 5 of our Art History book dealing with Romanticism in the 14th century. Our student loans do in fact have subsidized interest rates that we have to pay back whenever we decide to grow up and oh wait, we did I forget to pay my wireless bill and take out the trash? Where are my priorities? That too is on Tuesdays.

Tuesdays have a similar feel to the Monday ambiance. You are still depressed and forlorn at Monday's recent occurrence. However, you don’t want to do anything extra special or work too hard. Tuesday is a day for monotony to take place at work, at school, at the gym, on dates, in life, as one drones the day away wishing they were further on in the week.

I hate tuna sandwiches. I think most of us do.