Friday, July 29, 2011

Twitter-Pated


A year and a half ago I remember sitting in the office of the artist formerly known as F-4 Phantom Blizzard and listening to her talk about what was called "Twitter". At the time I was just coming off of a massive brain surgery, so I did in fact have difficulties dealing with newly introduced concepts.

F-4 Phantom Blizzard: "Well, basically Twitter takes the Facebook status update concept and maximizes it to it's full potential. You get to update where you are, what you're doing, how you're feeling, and let the world know all about it. And then you can follow people and hear about their lives. You know, famous people like Orrin Hatch, and Shaquille O'Neal."

Swamp Thing: "Wait, so you're just telling the world what you're doing? All this website is, is a glorified Facebook status bar?"

F-4 Phantom Blizzard: "In essence, yes."

Swamp Thing: "Sign me up!"

At the time I created a twitter account for myself in hopes that it would be a rewarded attempt at impressing the artist formerly known as F-4 Phantom Blizzard. For some reason I have made many hopeful endeavors into the world of social media falsely wishing that it would impress a specific member of the opposite sex. What the heck was I thinking? You can all shake your heads with me on this concept.

In all reality, out of the five social media devices that I have ranted about so far this week, Twitter has to be the one that I have spent the least amount of time engaging myself with, therefore this post will follow suit. This was maybe due to the fact that I had about the same chance of hooking up with F-4 Phantom Blizzard as Arnold Schwarzenegger had moving into the White House. "A-O! Sarcastic political reference in my blog!"

I'll be here all week!

I think I have maybe electronically jotted down one or two complete tweets in my entire life. And both of them were more than likely sarcastic dribbles about something that I found humorous. And let's face it, I don't follow people. If you have forgotten from what I wrote in yesterday's post, I am egotistical. I am selfish. I am conceited like the rest of the world, therefore I want you to follow me more than I will follow you. I say this in jest, please remember. I am just referring to the overall attitude that our culture has on their shoulders. The chips, mind you.

In short, a glorified Facebook status bar is not a bandwagon that I have jumped on in the last year and a half. And honestly, I can't see myself diving deeper into the pool of this creation for who knows how much longer. It's just not something that I can see myself immersing completely into.

That is of course unless a beautiful girl comes along and totally changes my views. Because you and I both know that men always do stupid things for women.

What do you think?

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