Thursday, July 28, 2011

“Babe, you really need to try this thing called Facebook.” The Frilly Meg said to me with a quirky smile as she slurped down a spoon of angel hair pasta in the commotion known as Olive Garden on weekends in Happy Valley.

“Facebook? What’s Facebook?” I asked.

“It’s sorta like Myspace, but it’s so much better. Much more professional, cleaner, and cooler.” She replied back with that quirky grin across her face.

‘Cooler huh?’ I thought to myself as I surveyed my second date with The Frilly Meg. ‘Hey, if it’s something that will get this chick to dig me more, then what the heck. I’m all in.’

And that was the beginning of a meaningful relationship. Four and a half years later, an epilepsy-induced rolled-over Altima, and a nasty breakup, Facebook and I are still holding strong despite the smoldering embers of a courtship with The Frilly Meg. I will thank her though to this day. If it was not for my shallow attempts at wooing her, and I would have never gotten together.

Facebook is what makes the world revolve, does it not? Facebook is a more professional, cleaner, and cooler version of Myspace. Well at least it was at first. Now, it has become what Myspace once was. They say that all good things come to an end. If that’s the case, are we already scurrying off the edge of the plateau formerly known as the greatest social networking site of all time? Is Facebook ready to hand over it’s title belt to a newly anointed prodigy?

If you ask me, it all started with Farmville. That obnoxious attempt at Avatar gardening were the reins that led the Social Network’s horse and carriage down in to the spiral of oblivion. Farmville. Plain and simple.

“Farmville is the most exciting, most incredible, most enjoyable Internet game I have ever been a part of. It in fact has changed my life.” A young John Doe Bobcat high school student proclaimed to me in the middle of one of my recruiting visits last fall.

“What’s Farmville?” I asked him.

“What, is, Farmville? What is Farmville? Are you joking with me?!”

“Um… No. I’m not. What is it?”

“Farmville is the definition of awesomeness. It’s the Dos Equis of online games. It’s like having a farm, and growing things, and watering plants, and building pastures, and tending to animals, all on Facebook, and then sharing it with all of your friends. My word man, where have you been all your life?”

“Wait, so it’s like actual farming, but you just do it online?” I asked.


“No, that’s alright kid. I actually have a life.”

But it’s not just Farmville that cursed Facebook, it is Bejeweled, Barn Buddy, and Frontierville that carried the torch as well. Oh, and don’t let me forget the notorious Mafia and Vampire Wars. Those two were the brute force of Edward Norton’s boot kicking Facebook’s teeth into the curb. (LTT)

Aside from the wasted away gaming hours, I think one of the main reasons that Facebook has generated such popularity and stayed alive over the years is a simple answer summed up into one single word; narcissism.

That’s right kids. We are vain. We are conceited. We are proud, inflated, self-righteous schmucks who want the world to hear anything and everything about us. And that is the premise and foundation to which Facebook feeds off of; our own vainglorious egos.

Think about it, all we do on Facebook is talk about ourselves in hopes that other people will get on and appreciate us. We jot down quirky/humorous statuses to make others think that we’re funny. We tag faces in photos so that they will get on our profile and learn more about us. We “like” and “comment” on people’s walls so that they in turn will be drawn like a magnet back towards us. Heck, I use Facebook solely for the purpose to market my blog so that you will get on here and see how talented of a writer that I am. Yes! I am that conceited!

But aren’t we all? Is this dark and sinister avenue that we are all heading down instigated because of our own arrogant personas? Absolutely! And it’s only getting worse. A spawn of creations such as Twitter, and Google+, puffed up offspring which were sparked by Facebook, have begun to unravel any strands of humility left in our soulless stiffs.

Time will tell whether this iconic marketing website will be a tattooed gemstone in all of our webworlds. Despite all of the subtly-annoying changes made to the site every 6 weeks, or the friend requests submitted by total strangers in Swaziland, despite Farmville for crying out loud, Facebook is still holding strong. We’ll just see what the future holds as Google+ unloads it’s fierce arsenal of ego-inflating gadgets upon us all.

Now comment on my post so my own ego can only revel in self-importance.

What do you think?


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