How Much Does An Affair Cost?

Men love other men’s wives. True story. Why do you think we spend so much money on women that we will never ever settle down with? For full effect, download “Going Up The Country” by Canned Heat, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. If you were to look at this from a research perspective, which is what most nerds who have fetishes for Star Trek do, you could actually calculate the amount of money spent per...

I Must See TV

Guys, I don’t know what to do. I am lost. I am forsaken. All of my favorite TV shows have reached the end of their lives. For full effect, download “The Funeral” by Band Of Horses and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of these few paragraphs. When I say I am lost in my life, it simply means I have nothing left to keep me entertained. Walter White has shot his last bullet, Dexter has now become a lumberjack, the students at...

No, I'm Not Drunk

I never thought I would make this statement in my entire adult life, but here goes: I am now a fan of baseball. For full effect, download “Satellite” by Dave Mathews Band, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. I would like to state that my opinions on this sport are not being influenced by the 10-day road trip I have just endured that included late night runs to Red Lobster, Root beer and Horchata concoctions,...

When I Am An Old Woman

I'm sitting in church and there's a 12-year old kid on the stand who can't keep his eyes open. He's nodding and blinking heavily, his head drooping on a cycle because the man at the podium isn't talking about anything entertaining like Transformers or Legos. 17 years ago, that was me. For full effect, download "The Times They Are Changing" by Bob Dylan and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. At this moment I'm...

This Is The Part...

This is the part where you want me to write about some thought-provoking epiphany relating to marriage that I had yesterday while running after midnight. Or where I jokingly make fun of how social media has blunted the growth of our culture and humanity and hypocritically postmark my words with the hashtag #firstworldproblems in order to gain more traffic to my website. Or how I was able to understand the joy of life itself after going on a...

Dear Mom,

A few years back for a research project I polled a few of my friends and asked them to tell me what their Mother meant to them. Last night while in retro mode, I found these words on an old website I put together for an undergrad project. I thought it fitting to share these sentiments once again while we herald the women who raised us.  For full effect, download "Dear Mama" by Tupac, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration...

What Heaven Feels Like

People may think that completing an Ironman is solely an individual achievement. But the thing is, it's really not. It's much more than that. For full effect, download "Dirty Paws" by Of Monsters and Men and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. You see kids it's not about the 800+miles I've logged over the last three months on my bike, on my shoes, or in the pool that makes a difference. It's not about sneaking...