It Could Be Worse

For the record, I am not depressed.  At least that’s what all of you were thinking after reading my rant about how the L-word is all just a myth. A hoax. A big ball of crap.  For full effect, download “Needle” by Born Ruffians and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.  It was shocking to see how many of you came out of the woods this week to tell me how freakishly accurate my predictions...

The Death Of The L-word

I have reached a point in my life where everything I once believed in, or at least everything the Ted Mosby inside of me believed in, has been shoved down the garbage disposal. Of course I’m talking about the death of that big word driving every single one of us. The L-word.    For full effect, do not go and download anything from iTunes and play at full volume throughout the duration of this post, because honestly, this post is...

May Techno Be Damned

I think I’m about to lose my mind. You can go ahead and thank every single drop of Techno music for my sudden rush to the nearest asylum.  For full effect, download “The System is Down” by Strongbad and the Burninators and play at full volume throughout the duration of this post.  And if by chance you have already heard “The System is Down” by Strongbad and the Burninators, let us both shed a tear for the passing of that great...

You've Got Balls

Keith Tronic: “You need to grow up Brock, seriously. Why are you going out and tossing money around left and right buying things like new snowboards? When in all reality you need to go buy something that an adult would purchase, like, a couch. Then you’ll be respected.” Said one of my best friends three years ago… For full effect, download “Hero” by Regina Spektor and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. I...

Diagram Of A Dad

Apparently if I become a Father this is what I will turn into.  Not gonna lie, but this isn't something I'm looking forward to becoming.  ...

Can Somebody Get Me Some Drugs?

Me: “M! Help me! I need to think of something to blog about! What would make people laugh?!” M: “Is that why you blog? Do you just write for other people?” Shut the curse word up M, OF COURSE that’s why I blog! Isn’t that why most people blog in the first place? For a good time, download “We Can’t Stop” by Miley Cyrus and play on repeat for a solid 17 minutes. Am I a sinner to say that I really like that song? Just because she’s a...

Eat, Sleep, Drive

Yes, it’s 2:38 in the morning, and yes, I am actually just starting to write this. But don’t be fooled, some of my most memorable posts have been inspired by a heavy lack of sleep and/or an intoxication of highly caffeinated beverages. This may or may not be the product of both of those variables, but please, don’t judge. For full effect, download “Rivers and Roads” by The Head and The Heart and play at maximum volume throughout the duration...

Back When I Was A PIMP.

Back in the day I thought I was a pimp.  And yes, I did just use the phrase “back in the day” so go ahead and date me back to when the Fresh Prince was still on the air. Yes, I am that aged. I’m talking about a time when 8th graders played with giga pets and people actually used telephones to have regular vocal conversations with one another. #oldtimercommunication For full effect, download “Hot in Herre” by Nelly, and play at maximum...

It Is What It Is

Don't you dare read too much into this. There are no layers. Or subliminal messages. Or hidden meanings. Heck, there isn't even a suggested background song to download that can be used as supporting elevator music while it takes you 15 seconds to read this entire thing. It's just a Grandma. Drinking Tea. With a penguin. That is all.&nbs...