For the record, I am not depressed.
At least that’s what all of you were thinking after reading
my rant about how the L-word is all just a myth. A hoax. A big ball of crap.
For full effect, download “Needle” by Born Ruffians and play
at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.
It was shocking to see how many of you came out of the woods
this week to tell me how freakishly accurate my predictions were about marriage. And it was also shocking to see when more and
more people reaffirmed my half-empty opinions on the subject, the more outraged I
became at what my life would end up becoming. Perhaps it may be my male menstrual cycle hitting on all cylinders, but
whatever it was, I was mad.
I was angry.
I was bitter.
I was pissed off.
And then one morning I woke up and realized that things in
my life aren’t actually all that bad, and that I in fact do have a great
life.
Now please don’t be confused, this isn’t a self-praising,
narcissistic, I’m-just-going-to-stare-at-my-reflection-in-the-river-Styx-for-hours
blogpost, this is actually just me reflecting on a series of events that
happened this past week when the big man in the sky fed me a piece of humble
pie, and backhanded me the authenticity that everything will in fact be
alright.
You see kids, I have a roof over my head, I have clothes on
my back, I have food in my belly, and I can DVR the series finale of “Breaking
Bad”. I can be a jack of all trades, and
there are probably one or two girls out there that might think I’m not too shabby
looking if I decide to shave off my 8-day lapse in facial hair. For me to
complain that my life is hard because I haven’t been able to find a wife at the
disgustingly old age of 28 in Mormon culture, well that’s nothing to complain
about at all. Because in all seriousness, I have a great life.
And that’s the thing.
So do you.
Life really isn’t that bad at all, now is it? I can sit here
and whine and moan all day long about the fact that I’m not married, but you
know what, it could be worse. My unwanted bachelorhood is a speck compared to
the misery that other people are forced to endure every single day. And likewise you can go and
vent about the hardships and trials and calamities that you have been dealt in
this poker game that we all call life all you want to.
But you know what? It’s really not that bad. For a moment
things may appear hard, the pressure may feel daunting, the misfortunes we have
been shelled out make us want to sob in the fetal position. But sooner or later
those things will pass. Life will go on. And somewhere in Albuquerque, or
Istanbul, or Provo, there has to be at least one other person out of the 7 billion walking this Earth that perhaps has a slightly tougher road to hoe than
you do. Isn’t that right?
So calm down. Go to church, get on your knees, thank
whatever God you believe created you for the fact that your life really isn’t
as tough as someone who just walked out of an abortion clinic or was diagnosed
with Parkinson’s. Remember that life is good, and things will sooner or later
get better. Take a deep breathe and go
hug your mother.
Everything will be alright.
