I am a sinner

We are all bad people. All of us. Especially me.

I say this because we all have a knack for doing bad things. Taking candy from a baby, taking second glances at the porn carpet in Vegas, or cheering on the University of Michigan football team. Yes, we have all done bad things. And none of us are proud of our closet skeletons.

I, do bad things on an almost continual basis. A non-stopping occurrence. Things that happen over and over again, I should just about book my front-row seats on the shores of Hell as soon as the sand runs out on my physical existence. I have screwed up a lot. And I take the blame on everything that I’ve messed up.

Now screwing up in everyday life is one thing. But screwing up in church, that’s even worse. As I found out today.

So I was having a nonchalant conversation with two very intriguing members of the opposite sex; Whitley Davis, a star soccer player for Dixie State, and the very well-known/infamous Paige Conrow.

We were jawing about random things, candy for breakfast, life in Montana, and the visual image of my face when under pressure from constipation. Yes I know, it was an interesting conversation. The jabber shifted to where I was asked to speak in church next week with Whitley, and I was trying to convince Whitley that we would both do a great job.

I wish I had a way with words to express the physical motions that then occurred as I reached out my hand to give Whitley confidence that she would do a great job speaking next week.

As my hand stayed elevated at a certain elevation, in cupping shape I might add, an unknown Double-D female walked a thousandth of an inch away from my possible groping. Pulling my hand back, I was shocked, stunned, stunted at what had almost just happened.

I didn’t know what to say, what to do. Did she think that I was a pervert, a sexual predator in the hallway? Should I have apologized over and over again, or should I have said that I hoped it was as good for her as it was for me?

I didn’t know. I felt, what’s the word, embarrassed? Cheated? Disgusting? I don’t know. Meanwhile Paige and Whitley were literally on the floor laughing their kidneys out at the fact that I was at a mix between pleasure and pain with yet another sin on my shoulders. Bishop was motioning that I should have a seat in his office for a confession and discussion about repentance.

Hey, nobody’s perfect. Anyone who reads this blog knows for a fact that I’m not.