I Must See TV

Guys, I don’t know what to do. I am lost. I am forsaken. All of my favorite TV shows have reached the end of their lives.

For full effect, download “The Funeral” by Band Of Horses and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of these few paragraphs.

When I say I am lost in my life, it simply means I have nothing left to keep me entertained. Walter White has shot his last bullet, Dexter has now become a lumberjack, the students at Greendale lost their accreditation, and Ted Mosby finally found the girl with the yellow umbrella. For the record, if you think I have ruined an era by revealing some of the secrets of these shows, well that’s your own fault. Go back and read the hashtags.

Usually when shows end, replacements are dropped into our laps that will keep our TV’s in action. But sadly, I can’t seem to jump on any of the trending bandwagons that are trashing our channels. I’m not a criminal justice major, therefore I don’t give a rats backside about every single NCIS spinoff. I don’t have a fairy tale fetish, therefore Once Upon A Time isn’t really doing it for me. And no, I don’t want to watch a giant medieval porno featuring midget kings, so please don’t tell me Game of Thrones is a hidden gem.

Now I know I usually ask you rhetorically humorous questions that make you ponder over the mysteries of life, and that’s what keeps you coming back to this blog every Wednesday and Sunday morning. But for the sake of my pure entertainment purposes that will keep me from losing my sanity, I ask, nay, I beg of you, to tell me where do I turn? What stories in cinema do you recommend?

What do I watch next?