Monday, August 27, 2012

PHST Day 2


There's a woman with eyebrows the size of Kentucky glaring at me for no reason. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little intimidated. But then again that's what you have to deal with in a place that use a port-o-potty as the town restroom. Bless that Anthony Davis impersonator.

For full effect, download "People are Strange" by The Doors and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.

I've been wearing a set of Aviators the majority of the day. Thank Keith for that. And no it's not because I myself am trying to hide my own thick eyebrows, I just feel somewhat of a BAMF when I'm donning what are actually a $7 knock off from Wal-Mart.

I have often wondered what type of personalities enjoy living way out in the sticks, in no man's land. Don't get me wrong, this is beautiful country, but when the nearest place to buy the latest fashion is an ALCO 45 minutes away, that might raise some concern.

Swamp Thing: "So what do y'all do in this town for fun?"

H.S. Senior: "Nothing."

Swamp Thing: "Nothing? What do you mean nothing? Don't you have a mall or anything to go to?"

H.S. Senior: confused/perplexed/WTF look across her face "What's a mall?"

See what I mean? Aside from that, this is some gorgeous landscape. In between the hole in the rock city monument, the hole in the rock gas station, okay maybe everything out here is basically just carved out of the nearest sandstone castle. I understand though, you have to make-do with what's available to you. Beggars can't be choosers.

Insert derogatory comment about the South Park Panther's perverted uncle giving me the googly eye from across the room. Yes kids, there are some nuts out there that appear as straight up creepers. Or am I just being too judgmental about the four-eyed King of congenital Candyland that is making me feel somewhat uncomfortable at this gas station?

Small towns like these really make me appreciate the finer things in life that I too often take advantage of. You know, things like Wi-Fi hotspots, indoor plumbing, and bread. Either way it's some beautiful territory out here, but only pretty for about 48 hours or so.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go beat up a set of eyebrows.

What do you think?

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