Wednesday, March 26, 2014

I'm With Stupid

Remember how I’m still a little bit twerked about the condition that humanity is in? And yes, I did just use a Miley Cyrus dirty dance move to describe the animosity of my current mental state.

Remember how I ranted about the world we live in being motivated by recycled electronic devices we hold in our hands?

Remember how I said on Sunday that this would be a two-part blogpost?

Well here you go, the second half of my twerking session.

For full effect, download “Wake Up” by Arcade Fire and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. By the way, is anyone out there actually finding these songs on YouTube, or iTunes, or Napster and coordinating their reading session with background music that I am specifically researching, or is the musical element that I’m suggesting all just a waste of a paragraph?

You tell me you lazy sucker. 

Brothers and Sisters, we are in need of some help. And yes, I just addressed you as a congregation of neighbors born and raised in Hazelhurst, Georgia, only to show you how emphatic I’m trying to stress today’s post. You’re listening to Southern Baptist Preacher Brock, who is 6th all-time on the coolest Brock’s list right in between “accidentally drunk on Nyquil Brock” and “Duckface Brock”. This character brings a whole new perspective into play, no doubt.

We are in perilous times my fellow brothers and sisters, there is no doubt in my mind that is certain. Times that make me want to find a VHS copy of the movie Homeward Bound, hold it in my arms and cry myself to sleep while Christmas carols fade out in the background. I am in need of some comfort. I am in need of some assurance. I need to know that things are going to turn out alright in the end, because at the rate we’re going, that is not looking like our final destination.

My fear is contingent on the fact that our world is changing. The world we live in, the world we contribute to, the world we adore and bless, praise and worship, that world, is getting dumber by the day.

Can I get an Amen from the congregation?

As the 1963 film title so accurately predicted, it is a mad, mad, mad, mad world out there, it truly is. Mad as in crazy. Mad as in lunatic. Mad as in we are so curse-wording stupid it’s not even funny. We as a general body of people have reached the point where we have abandoned learning, we have turned our backs on self-improvement, we have traded in our mental capacity only to be handed back a marathon of Honey Boo Boo episodes on TLC. That is the eye-rolling point of no return we have now reached.

Our world is dumb. And if you disagree with me on this, go ahead and open up your social media and look at some of the most trending topics we are all Tweeting over this very second. What’s that? Nick Young celebrated a missed three-point shot and EVERYONE wants to bash him for it? Kim Jong-Un is requiring ALL men to get haircuts? Wu-Tang Clan is only going to sell a SINGLE COPY of their latest album? WTF?! OH THE HUMANITY!

Now hold on a second, I must be blowing things out of proportion here. Let me just log on to, the real anchors of our intelligent universe, they must have something more intellectual for me to wrap my mind around. I’m sorry, what was that? Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are possibly getting a DIVORCE! You have LIVE FOOTAGE of a Doberman Pincher who sneakily rolls around on his owner’s bed? You know the answer to who has the BEST BUTT on prime-time TV?!

Say that again please, you have a report that breaks down the beauty of fictional characters’ ass cheeks, and this is a lead story on CNN?

Brothers and Sisters I recently watched a lecture from one of the most intelligent, most brilliant people this world has ever known, Neil Degrasse Tyson. And in this clip he began unraveling how there is only a 1% difference in the structure of our DNA compared to the modern chimpanzee. Only 1%! That tiny percentage of a difference was a deep chasm in comparison to the greatest achievements on both sides. For example, a chimp has the ability to recognize the color red, and we have the ability to send a 25,000-pound camera into space and have it orbit the Earth and send us back pictures of galaxies thousands of light years away. That 1% makes all the difference. It is the separation between brilliance and idiocracy.  

But as the days roll on and time goes by, and I turn on the TV, or log on to my Facebook account, and see the uneducated slander that gets recycled and stockpiled with no end in sight, it’s at this point when I must ask:

Is it really, just 1%

What do you think?


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