Friday, November 4, 2011

I think...Day 4?

The days are slowly morphing into one giant blob by this point. It's a little after 5:30 a.m. and I am seated in the terminal waiting my flight to Seattle. There's no reason why I should be awake at this curse word hour. My job is personifying the phrase "Red Eye" at this very moment. Hey, if I'm lucky maybe I'll be seated next to Rachel McAdams. (LTT)

For full effect, download "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.

I will say I am happy to be getting the heck out of Dodge... I mean Boise. I have enjoyed my stay here, but the colors bright blue and orange have started giving me a migraine-esque headache. These Boise State fans are nuts! It's almost as if there is nothing else besides Bronco football in these parts.

Swamp Thing: "Yeah, I'll have a bacon cheeseburger with a large Mt. Dew.

Nutcase Hostess: "Alright sir, did you know Kellen Moore is about to break the record for most career touchdown passes thrown? GO BOISE STATE! WOOH!"

Cue my insertion of metal spoon into temple of Nutcase Waitress to keep me from losing my own personal sanity.

Last night was good though, I did catch up with VRM Garth Shiftyeyes and his wife Mrs. Quxrepdra Shiftyeyes, a couple that I can see myself playing shuffleboard with on Caribbean cruises when we're all old and wrinkly. We talked over burnt lemonade and a meager salad (just a salad? just a salad? LTT) while the server commented that Quxrepdra should grow a neck beard, I'm telling you, these Idaho people are CRA-ZY! Either way it was good to reminisce with 'em, I sure do L-word them both...

...So far Seattle is leaving a semi-sour taste in my mouth. This is one dog eat dog big city, where everyone is grasping on to a Starbucks 32 oz. styling styrofoam flask. Even the infants that are being toted around on their mothers backs at the fair that I'm at has a gerber baby bottle with a cappuccino in it. These people are also some of the worst drivers ever. I don't care if it rains 366 days out of the year here, that doesn't mean that we all need to go slower than a snail's pace on the freeways. Maybe my outside perspective here isn't the best, but so far I don't understand this city.

I will say this though, as busy as this city is it kinda grows on you. Almost like mold. Despite the fact that everyone here is either metro, mocha, or mooching a Marlboro, I think I could live here. Either that or make an extended pit stop. Now that the fair is over, I'm not quite sure what is on the agenda for the rest of the day. I might take a drive out to some random island and see if I can find the body of Samara from "The Ring".

She had better not be a Boise State fan though, because if she is, I'll probably throw her corpse back down the well.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location: The Boise Airport/Seattle

What do you think?


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