Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I Don't Want To Grow Up

Standing in line of a cafeteria that smells like bleach and bedpans, I reached into my pocket to pay for the overly priced $3.51 large cranberry juice I was holding in my hand. As I pulled out my favored wallet, a cash-carrier that is decorated with some of my most esteemed heroes, the legen-wait for it-dary Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I shrugged and stared at the inked images that were spawned by a late night party rooted with beer and marijuana.

Cashier: "That will be $3.51 sir."

Swamp Thing: "Do I get free refills on this thing?"

Cashier: "Confused/perplexed/WTF look across her face.

Swamp Thing: "Well from the look you're giving me, I guess I need to exchange my soul for those."

I sat down in the most uncomfortable of all chairs and stared out the window at a cancer patient walking around the courtyard with a walker and what appeared to be a gentle daughter guiding his way.

For full effect, YouTube the old Toys-R-Us commercial that has the famous line, "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys-R-Us kid." and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. That song for some reason has been echoing in the back of my head for the past few weeks or so.

Life sure has it's up's and down's that is for certain. One moment you're the king of the world holding Kate Winslet off the front of the Titanic, the next minute, you forget to see a giant berg of ice in the middle of the ocean, and you're floating on a door muttering the words, "I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let go..." And yes, I did just call it a berg of ice.

I'm not depressed at all, don't misunderstand where I'm coming from. I L-word my life, every tiny aspect of it. I have a great life. I am surrounded by great people, and I truly do enjoy waking up every single morning. But, it is moments when I stare at a frustrated cancer patient meagerly slouching on a bench and wish that I wished I was the little kid ten feet away trying to catch a duck in the bushes, laughing his face off while another person wonders if he'll even be here in three months.

Growing up can be a pain in the butt sometimes. It's a time when accountability, decision making, and reality govern our lives. It's a time when we have to focus on budgeting our accounts, making an insurance payment, watching our diet for the sake of potential diabetes, rather than waking up at 6 am on a Saturday morning, watching cartoons until two in the afternoon meanwhile downing a gallon of rocky road ice cream. Oh those were the days weren't they? The days of night games and Garfield pajamas and color books. The days when candy was the ruling factor in any choice that we would make.

I miss those days. Man, I sure do. And at the rate that I'm aging, its not looking hopeful that I'll be able to experience them any time soon. I guess the only way that I'm going to ever get them back is by living vicariously through my own kids. But the again, at the rate that I'm going in that department, that might take a while too.

And so I stare at my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle wallet and the theme song of their cartoon rings loudly in my mind, meanwhile the 6-year old outside has his bum in the air inches away from catching the duck. Life is grand, isn't it?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location: The cafeteria of McKay-Dee hospital

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