Hit The Road

Kids, right now I'm heading south on I-15, somewhere in between Mesquite and mile marker 127. I've got a bowl of Cap'n Crunch in my belly, a pair of fancy schmancy sunglasses on my face, listening to Matthew White elegantly serenade profanity to me as I use my left thigh to navigate past truckers, trailers, and Priuses while I write down my memoirs on what will be the last road trip I will ever take as a recruiter for Dixie State University. For...

This Is How I Met A Girl

"So you really need to tone the blog down. I mean, just quit telling all these stories and stuff. You're making us look bad." Said one of the brothers. "Totally man. I mean, you need to just stop blogging altogether. That way you'll be more likable." Said another. "Wait, so I need to stop telling my future kids this story of how I potentially met their Mother?" I ask. "Absolutely." They agreed. "I swear your stock will shoot through the roof...

Why, Thank You!

“I never send an after date text.” Brooke says to me last Friday night. “Come again for Big Fudge?” “If a guy is interested, he’ll fight to take me out again. Since when is that text a mandatory thing every girl MUST do once the date is over?” Um, why does anyone spend money on another person and not get a thank you in return? Since when is the dating world we’re all playing in a figurative version of a strip club? For full effect, download...