She's a Ten-Cow Woman!

Do you know how hard it is to try and set up two seventy-something women in a long-distance relationship? Almost as tough as winning the Tour de France without steroids. True story. For full effect, download “Matchmaker, Matchmaker” from the Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. The older I get in life, the more I begin to wonder if arranged marriages weren’t such a bad idea. Think...

Why I Don't Settle Down

A few weeks back I was eating lunch in a Mexican cafe in Logan with a guy who is facing the same single-life conundrum that I am, wondering where on earth our girls with yellow umbrellas may be hiding. As you read this you may ask yourself, "Why does this guy always blog about falling in L-word? He rehashes this topic at least twice a month." Well, this is just my rebuttal to all of the pictures you're posting about your two-year old son with chocolate...

Nothing Really Matters

After a long day, when the entire Wasatch Front has been dumped on by Jack Frost's insides and you're having an exhausting case of the Thursdays, nothing beats sitting in rush hour traffic with an ice cold Peach Green Tea in your hands, belting out the lyrics to "Bohemian Rhapsody", while the smiling beggar in the Buick next to you gives the thumbs up sign of approval. Yes kids, these are the little glory moments of life....

Just Push The Big Red Button

I just tried explaining HDTV to my Grandma. For the 11th time. I think there comes a point in everyone's life that once we reach a certain age, a certain elevation in years on this earth, that we will all begin to shut down our brains. We will begin to reject change in any shape or form. We will ignore advances in technology, society, business, industry, anything. We will become geriatric byproducts of the generation that we were raised in. Swamp...

Lessons With A Blind Kid

Kids, today I’m going to teach you two things, both of which are of upmost importance and could steer you down pathways of success no matter what direction you decide to take in your life. First and foremost, don’t be fat. That sounds rather terse, I know, but just hold on a minute and let me relate to you the events that transpired over the course of 90 minutes last night in a city league basketball game that I was involved in. A contest...

Saved By The Bell

It’s alarming how many of you clicked on the link because you saw the words “Saved By The Bell” in the title, when in all reality you probably don’t know a single thing about that overused, overhyped, wannabe sitcom that has its logo branded all over early 90’s television. There, I said it. For full effect, download “Under the Bridge”, by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. Any shallow...

What Might Have Been...

Today I sat in a ski lodge up Logan Canyon that I haven’t been in for almost two years. The last time I was there, a pretty girl was sitting across from me. This time, she wasn’t. For full effect, download “Someone Like You” by Adele, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. I would like to add that this is not, I repeat, NOT a “woe is me” swan song for attention due to a harsh lack of the L-word in my personal...

You're As Cold As Ice!

How in the curse word do you people survive the winter up here in Logan?! For full effect, download, "She's So Cold" by The Rolling Stones and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. Honestly, I do think that the first nine years of my life have been blocked from my conscious memory. Those nine years of course being spent in a valley famous for cheese curds, stinky cows, and negative Kelvin temperatures. Seriously, you people...

The Bucket List

Today I caught up with a lady who statistically speaking is going to be dead in 90 days. You can go ahead and thank pancreatic cancer for that one. An angel of a Grandmother, this woman was diagnosed a few months back, basically handed a death sentence of a contract from a man in a lab coat and cordially asked to sign her life away at the bottom. Yeah, I know, that's a lousy way to kick off the holiday season. But rather than wallow away in...

For Your Protection

It’s been almost 48 hours, and I wonder how many of you have actually stuck to your unoccupied New Years resolutions It’s o.k., you don’t have to lie. Everyone else already gave up too. For full effect, download “The Bicycle Song” by Queen and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. This afternoon I had the privilege of purchasing yet another helmet. That makes two dome-toppers for me in the last three weeks: one for...