The Worst Day Ever...

Anyone born in the 1980's will admit that the above image was one of the worst things that could happen to you as a child. In between chipped teeth and broken fingernails trying to pry these two apart, nothing halted creativity more than this conundr...

The Post Secret Road Trip

I need better sleeping habits if I come home from work for lunch and can't keep my eyes open through a half an hour session of Looney Tunes. Those poor sleeping habits are what made me have a skewed R.E.M. schedule for the last four days or so. For full effect, download that one Kenny Loggins song about Winnie the Pooh that you and I used to listen to at night and fall asleep to. Listen to that throughout the duration of this post. I do need...

Pre-Post Secret

388 miles away from home, three nimrods sit at a bar in Grand Junction, waiting for hot wings and beer battered fries meanwhile glued to the pixels making up the next stage of Draw Something. Yes, that's us. Myself, Chris Caldwell and Bryan Uhri took an extended man-date road trip across I-70. Which I may add, is the most boring piece of land outside of Wyoming itself. For full effect, create your own road trip playlist and play at maximum volume for a sustained five hours. I would go into detail about this trip, an iPhone combined with a...

I L-word Being a Man

As most of you know, I grew up in a very unique household surrounded by women. I say that meaning that I had 11 sisters. Sisters who were very girly, very feminine. However, I stood my ground and maintained my masculine side. And I have a few things to say about how I love being a man. I love being a man. I love not worrying about whether my toilet seat is up or down. I love getting excited about watching things blow up. I love reciting...

Fear

Ever since the young days where I would lay on my mothers’ bed at night and she would pour out to me the fantastic stories created by Tolkien in “The Hobbit”, my mind has been completely fascinated with the art of story-telling. And that deep fascination has carried into the way that I compose myself around friends. My reputation as quite an exaggerator precedes me on all aspects, but contrarily is praised at all angles when my mind delves into...

My Secret Love Affair

Dear Hoist, Look, I know that the two of us have had an amazing relationship over the course of us being together. It has been a wild ride, with some incredibly high highs, and of course some vomit-lined low’s. There are times in between burpees, kettlebell swings, and thrusters that make me want to go ballistic on you. But no matter what has happened, my love for you has continued to grow each and every day when we meet for a good solid hour...

WTF, Philosophy?!

There are some things in life that I will never be able to comprehend or figure out at all. Why the Trix rabbit can’t have cereal, what Louis Louis was talking about, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. Above all of those conundrums however is the most complex enigma to ever have been shaped from what I would say is some bent and twisted freakshow’s mind. Philosophy. Philosophy is too spoonfuls of cheap corn...

Text Messaging is Slowly Killing Us

Being a communication major, I have often marveled at the different ways people communicate with one another, whether it be face-to-face, sign language, Morse code, whatever. I have always found communication an enthralling subject on so many levels. There is one form of communication that I absolutely can't stand, yet I'm forced to tolerate and even embrace: text messaging. For full effect, download "Killing Me Softly" by Lauryn Hill and play...

The Best Map Ever

This just may be the coolest way I have ever seen to remember the United States of Ameri...