Those were the days...

I have come to a conclusion about my life thus far. I’m getting old. Really, really old. Now for those of you who have been on the earth longer than three decades, you are probably scoffing at me being aged. But hear me out; I am serious. Being a whopping 25 years old, I am starting to get up there in the wrinkling ages. 

The other night I was sitting around with my little sister/next door neighbors kicking back, flipping through the channels, enjoying...

The M-word

I am a pretty easygoing guy, I think. Usually anyone can talk to me just about anything, even something borderline offensive, and I can just brush it off with no problem. But I swear, if one more person in this world asks me about the M-word, I will explode. 

The M-word is something that you will rarely hear me mention on a positive note. For those who have listened to my casual rants about life, and this culture specifically, have most likely...

Thanks, Dad...

So what is the secret to being a good father?Don't ask me, I can't even find a wife yet.As the sun sets on yet another June holiday filled with cheap ties, new drills, and breakfast In bed, all of us seemed to have taken a few moments and remembered the Dad's in our lives. The ones who would play catch in the backyard with us, teach us how to ride bikes, tell us stories late at night while tucking us in, and everything else cliche' about what defines...

Jogging is Satan's Form of Exercise

I know that over the years I have written a few columns regarding the many things in my life that annoy or perturb me, i.e. cinnamon bears, bottled water, the state of North Dakota. I have also written an equal number of columns about things that absolute confuse and perplex me, i.e. math, female communication, late-night chat rooms. 

However, if there is one thing that without a doubt, hands down, no questions asked, bothers and confuses me almost...

The one-uppers

Every single one of us has a one-up man in our lives. A topper. An I’m-better-than-you-are-and-I’m-going-to-rub-it-in-your-face individual. They exist consistently and will never go away. Don’t know what a one-up man is? Exhibit A:Me: I had a late night last night. Heck, I didn’t even get to bed until 2 in the morning. I just couldn’t sleep. One-up Man: Oh yeah, well I had a late night too, and I didn’t even get to bed until 3 in the morning!...

Big Words just for show-offs

There are many things about growing up that I am not looking forward to. Along with taxes, mortgages, root canals and C-sections, adulthood appears to be a pain in the neck. One of the main things that I am a tad bit nervous about also, is the use of big words. Yes, you read that correctly. Big words, or in adult terms, copious vocabulary, is something that confuses me beyond all belief. Apparently once you cross the border of adolescent juvenility...