Wednesday, September 24, 2014


I know I've said in the past that when I decide to pass on I would like to have my remains donated to science, or to a museum, or to the back shelves in the frozen closet of a mediocre community college that doesn't have the budget to pay for the development of their Anatomy program. So let it be written, so let it be done. When my time on this Earth runs out, whether that is next week, in six months, or in the year 2050, I have always stated that I wish to donate this fine physical specimen of mine to science, rather than take out a $13,000 loan just to have my body shoveled six feet under.

I supplement that statement with the topic that for the past few years the nickname I have been anointed with has been "Bear". Not a unique or flamboyant, or peculiar nickname by any means, just Bear. Don't ask where this epithet came from because no, there is not some hilarious story about that one time at band camp where it originated, and please don't ask Keith Tronic or The Rhinestone Cowboy of its creation. I'm just Bear. Plain and simple.

With that being said, I think my postmortem plans have now been altered since a friend e-mailed me this photograph. And so, from here on out I would like the world to remember that when I pass on, to please find this 12-foot tall statue of a Grizzly and lay my remains upon his arms. At that point, I believe I will finally be able to rest in peace. 

What do you think?


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