Thursday, June 26, 2014

Give Me A Break

The Danny Glover inside me doesn’t think I can handle the amount of miles I’ve logged over the last week of my life.

For full effect, download “Hello” by Neil Diamond and play it begrudgingly at a very average volume for the remainder of this post. Gosh, I freaking hate Neil Diamond. That request was simply granted from peer pressure from my fellow bros in the car with me who have an extremely abnormal heterosexual obsession with that icon for women in their 50’s and Jack Black from Saving Silverman. 

One word: Overrated. That’s all I have to say.

I know it’s only been about 4,157 miles or something, who’s keeping track anyway? But I think I’m starting to wear myself out. Seriously, I’ve been to the polar extremes of ‘Murica both north and south. On airplanes, boats, rental cars, ferries, busses, monorails, and futons. I’ve eaten animals from all walks of life and gorged myself on bottomless refills of Mt. Dew. Kids, this is the first time in five years I’ve been on a vacation. I think I’m a bit overdue.

And please, don’t like or comment on this half-tossed couple of paragraphs. I know it’s not going to be as legen-wait for it-dary as some of my rants have been in the past, and so I apologize as a writer in advance. That’s the thing, when you get on the road and in the air and over water and start focusing on things other than your very meager, very low-budget, very poor quality blogging career, you're forced to change the priorities in your life.

Things like weddings on the beach, and baseball games with brothers, and doughnuts made by the devil, and cheese quesadillas at 1am.

So again, I’m sorry for not writing about love, or awkward dates, or Tinder matches chock full of How I Met Your Mother references, I think I’ve got something brewing upstairs like the Carne Asada nachos were in John Brooksby’s bowels last night that I’ll be able to unleash for your reading pleasure Sunday morning. For the record, that disgustingly awesome photo above is brought to you by #Brooksby's Bowels as well, take it in. He's a boss with a camera. In the meantime, I’m just enjoying my life at the moment.

I hope you’re doing the same.

What do you think?

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