10 Years Later...

Currently, I have an overinflated ego thanks to Nate and Holly Thompson. Nate, of course for the smothering waves of compliments about my writing skills. Holly, make up your mind about the guy. I don’t think that he’s boring at all. For full effect, download Gymnopedie No. 1 by Erik Satie from iTunes and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. Either that, or go and dig up the very first “Now that’s what I call music” CD...

The Rhett Rule

Yes, that just happened... For full effect, download "Pleasureman" by Gunther and the Sunshine Girls, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. Rather than waste time with a meandering intro riddled with sarcastic jabs at 90's music and fat penguins, I'm just going to jump right into one of the greatest memories that this past week has produced. Here is what you need to know: Me. Group of friends. Sand volleyball. Wednesday...

The New Way to Wash Clothes

Q: What should you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub? A: Throw in a load of laundry and add some soap. Yep, I sure do have the cajones, and the experience, to post a joke like that on my blog. I think the drool that came out of my mouth constituted the rinse cycle. That is al...

Please, Just Shut Your Mouth...

Don’t tell me that you’ve never been caught singing wildly in your car. We all have. Just admit it. This blogpost is inspired by a sparked conversation last night on the way home from the noodle restaurant in Zion, after a pair of unlikely candidates discussed one of the most awkward moments known to man; right up there with that morning in church when you haven’t had anything to eat, and in the dead silence before the opening prayer is said,...

The Circle of Trust

I hate the circle of trust. That's what I've movie-mocked a family tradition that gets imposed upon a bunch of my awkward loved ones every time my aunt breaks out a seven-layer dip in group settings. For full effect, download the cheesiest song that you can think of and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. I'm thinking of the '98 World Cup theme song by Ricky Martin. Every time my extended family gets together, whether...

The Holiday Hangover

Please turn off that very bright light, it's burning my retinas. That's the sound that one's mental state makes once they have been involved in one of the most elaborately unplanned festivities that a group of random strangers were privy to enjoy. And although the title of this post is somewhat imposing the idea that there were alcoholic beverages used in the making of this blogpost, you should be well aware that no intoxicating liquids played...

A Good Walk Spoiled

The sun is getting lazy as it rolls its way down the horizon, yawning as the day is coming to an end. The coughing cart I have been sputtering around in all afternoon glides to a halt as I reach for my driver for the last time today. Somewhere in my personalized mp3 world, "Clair de Lune" comes over my earphones and provides an emphatic anthem for the 18th hole. This sounds poetic does it not? Almost as if I should begin writing emotional...