Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Back To The Future

It’s a sad moment in life when you realize the highlight of your week will be when you finally file your taxes. 

For full effect, download “Photo Albums” by Daniel Licht, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.

I had an idiot of a creature sound off on how he is dealing with one of the most difficult problems known to man.

Putz who takes selfies with his shirt off: “I mean, it’s hard being 22 years old, it just is. Can anyone else back me up on this? Being 22 is one of the most difficult points in one’s life. There are just a lot of tough things to deal with.”

Like being able to eat a Little Caesar’s Hot N’ Ready pizza all in one sitting while binge watching four seasons of Friends without leaving your dorm room, and then having the ability to pull an all-nighter and still show up to class bright and early thanks to the glory of Mt. Dew? Yeah, those sound like some difficult times my friend. I sure wish I had the freedom that you did.

Aside from the fact that this kid was both an ox and a moron, I did take something away from the pathetic gripe that was tossed out to deaf ears, and this comes hinging on the communication/life principle that we always want what we cannot have. Don’t you dare argue with me on that, it’s freaking Brocktrine at this point in time. As this dimwit was lamenting to no one that cared, I did realize that part of his swan song sang truth, and that is the witty idea that we always think that things will be better when we’re older.

And then we do our taxes and realize the next most consistent thing in our lives is being thrown in the ground six feet under.

14-year old Brock wearing a Hawaiian shirt as a fashion statement: “Things are just so hard at my age. If only I could drive, and date girls, and have some responsibilities in my life besides babysitting and spelling bees. Once I turn 16 and am behind the wheel of a car, then, then things are going to be better, I know it.”

17-year old Brock after hitting a deer in his Nissan pickup: “GOSH MY LIFE IS SO HARD!!! I am so sick of having to abide by rules in my house like emptying the dishwasher on Mondays, and not watching The Simpsons. Once I move out and I’m away for college, then, then things will be so much better, I know it.”

22-year old Brock having seizures and struggling with Math 1050: “This just isn’t right. Why do I have to take all these dumb classes that cost a fortune and go out with the same girls over and over again. It’s like my life is on repeat as a college student. If only I was graduated and had a career, and didn’t have to worry about all these monotonous things every day, then, then things would be so much better, I know it.”

26-year old Brock on the highway somewhere in between Spokane and Las Vegas: “This job is wearing me out. I keep saying the same things over and over and over again to the same students. It’s like I spend half my life in this car as a traveling salesman surviving on Big Mac’s and Rockstars. If only I was already done with my Masters and starting my teaching career as a college professor, then, then things would be so much better, I know it.”  

We all say the same lines in our head wanting what we don’t have and thinking the future only holds better options. But sooner or later we reach a point where we don’t really look to the future in anticipation, but more to the past. And I’m not saying this in regards to regret, but more in the sense that our joints are starting to slowly ache after a measly one-mile run, and 9 to 5 routines make us feel like we’re on the verge of being shut away in a padded room wearing a straitjacket. That’s when the rose-colored past seems slightly more appealing.

Soon to be 30-year old Brock who just got done filing his taxes: “I’m nearing the three-decade mark of being on this Earth. It’s not even 6:30 and my eyes are already starting to shut for the night. I know I’ve got a “dream job” and I’m at the “top of my game” as they all say, but sometimes I feel like being a big kid isn’t as appealing as I always thought it would be. When tax returns and episodes of The Walking Dead are my highlights, maybe there’s something wrong. If only I could go back to the days when nothing mattered and all I did was wear Hawaiian shirts and pass notes to Krystle Bailey in class, then, then things would be so much better, I know it.

If only…  

What do you think?


  1. More like rockstars and Taco Bell beefy five layer burritos... How I don't weigh 300 pounds is an anomaly.

  2. I think that we are all trying to find that "perfect" age where we have no worries and life is sunshine and rainbows. I also think the nostalgia of "better" years is something we all yearn for as well. The happiest man I know told me that focusing on the moment is the pathway to all understanding. Still not sure what that meant, but then again he was a 75 year old pot head that lived on the beach and hadn't taken a shower in about 20 years.