Shut Your Face, Old Man

You know you’re getting old when none of the students in your class ever had a MySpace account.

That, and not a single one of them have a birthday in the 80’s.

For full effect, download “30 Something” by Jay-Z, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.

Maybe I have yet to reach that haunting realization that I’ve been walking God’s green Earth for three decades, but I’m still getting up there. Scary, I know. I’m old enough to remember when the first Bush was in office. At times I can tell when I am dated. And that was made evident this afternoon as I sat in front of 30 something freshmen and sophomore college students and debated the alter-egos we developed with the birth of social media.

“Just think for a minute, did any of you notice that your personality changed when MySpace was invented?” I asked them.

Cue awkward cricket sound as all of them looked back and forth with confused looks of perplexity wondering whose space I was referring to.

“MySpace? Professor Bybee, I don’t think any of us ever used that old program. I remember when I made a Facebook account though.” The random student on the front row replied.

“Are you kidding? I’m talking about the foundation of social media here, the one that started it all. That corner of the Internet that was officially yours, with a customized background and personalized DJ all in one, the epitome of online interaction!”

“Are you talking about Instagram?” One of them asked.

“No, I think he’s talking about Facebook. That came before Instagram, because they bought them out. But this MySpace thing, was that like for an older generation?” Another one added.

“Wait, do you mean TimeHop? Cause I can see what I was doing on social media like five years ago, it’s crazy.” The pair of braces said.  

“No, that’s just trending right now, it’s nothing old like Facebook.” The blonde from Kansas argued.

“Hold on a second,” Aristotle on the back row interrupted. “MySpace is that one site that independent musicians use to advertise for like new albums and stuff isn’t it?”

The bickering went back and forth among the 30 somethings while I stood at the front of the classroom with my face in my left hand, SMH. I understand that none of them were born in the same era as Punky Brewster, Trapper Keepers, or The Breakfast Club, but dear Morgan Freeman, did their conscious understanding of reality begin on their 16^th Birthday? Just because MySpace didn’t start trending until 2005 does not mean it never actually existed in their lifetime.

“Look, never mind about the whole MySpace thing kids, the point of this discussion is that we have changed as a society due to social media. Whether or not you remember that change, well that’s a completely different discussion to have.” I said. “And by the way, thank you for giving me fuel to feed my blog.”

“Your blog? What’s a blog?” The front row asked.

Oh honey…