Wednesday, August 14, 2013

You Can't Break The Rules

As you can see, my blog has gone through a drastic facelift since the last time you were here. And if you can’t tell, well maybe you’re not intelligent enough to be reading this in the first place. 

For full effect, download “Fashion is Danger” by Flight of the Conchords, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.

I would also like to add that it doesn’t really matter how flashy or visually appealing a person’s blog looks. If the content they are posting day in and day out sucks worse than any Adam Sandler film post-“Big Daddy” then it doesn’t really matter how good it looks on the surface. If you want to keep people coming back, you have to deliver with your words. 

Or just continue making jokes about kicking midgets. That always keeps people entertained.

On a completely opposite side note, which is in fact the reverse tangent this entire post is going to be heading, I had a heated debate with a girl over an outfit I was caught wearing yesterday. And yes, I did just use the word “outfit”, so what? I still L-word women and don’t swing from the other side of the plate as my understanding of modern fashion vocabulary may be implying.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

While wearing a rather slick pair of pants and collared shirt, I had a conversation with a good friend, a friend who I normally would come up with some witty blogalias for, but then again I gave up the whole childish blogalias/nickname thing when I grew up last month and started sleeping without a nightlight. This great gal who I shall just refer to as M, made a very complimentary statement about my clothes which was followed by an extremely risqué suggestion.

M: “Seeing as how your first day of teaching college will be next Monday, I think you should wear that same outfit. It’s really college professor-esque and it gives off the professional, classy look that you should try and have?”

Me: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you serious? I can’t do that!”

M: “Why not?”

Me: “I would be breaking the cardinal rule of fashion, a rule that has higher legitimacy over never wearing brown shoes with blue pants.”

M: “And what rule is that?”

Me: “The two week rule! I have to wait at least two weeks before I can wear the same outfit or I’ll be shamed for being a bum. I’m better than that!”

For the record, I would also like to add that just because I know that you are never allowed to wear brown shoes with blue slacks, and that you never double dip an item of clothing within the same calendar week, does not mean that I prefer the company of men.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

It was at this point when dear M laughed in my face with a guffaw to spite my recognition of parliamentary fashion procedure.

M: “No one will care Brock, that’s the thing. No one will notice that you’re wearing an outfit like that. None of your students will have any idea.”

Me: “That’s not the point. They may not care, but I will. Because I have standards. And there is no way I can turn into a stylistic hypocrite, especially since the values in my life are centered around this rule.”
Am I wrong for holding myself accountable for something like this? Am I crazy thinking that a random stranger might know that I’m breaking my own code? Am I a Metrosexual for knowing more than one rule of fashion? The answer could go either way on that last one. As for right now I don’t think I can compromise my morals and wear the same shirt and slacks within six days of each other.  That would be immoral. People would think I’m just plain crazy!

On second thought, the fact that I just wrote a 680-word post on the ethics of wearing an outfit, there is plenty of ammunition to get me booked into a nuthouse.  

What do you think?
7:47 PM