Day 4

Yeah so what if those are bags underneath my eyes. And quit hating me if I have eaten 3,000+ calories in the last 8 hours. Don't judge, that's just how I roll. (Pun intended)

I would like to give a shout out to Average-size Applegate and Mrs. Dixie Bo Jackson for joining me in the "I-shall-not-swear-from-this-moment-forward" pledge. Hopefully we can keep this mother-****ing vow up.

For full effect, download "The way I Am" by Eminem and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post.

Quote of the day: "It looked like period throw up. But I flushed it away."

Don't ask me how that came into our conversation at 9:57 am, ten minutes after we had gotten back on to the road. And don't judge J. Black Hairpiece just because his voice cracks every tenth word. He's probably more manlier than you are.

R.O.A.D.S. rule of the day: one can only order chili from a restaurant if the temperature is lower than 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Texas Longhorn chili in the spring with a near-80 degree temp outside, no bueno.

Another reason why you don't eat chili? Is because the methane outbursts exploding from your piehole are not making the scent of this van very appealing. Someone needs to start serving us Pepto Bismol for breakfast.

It's just after 10, and I don't know how our engines are still running after being on the road for what seems like the past 17 months. It has been a good trip though, intermingled with Denny's runs and hot tub visits. There sure is nothing better than the crew I'm running with these days, I swear.

Every damn day.