Q is for Questions

Q is a tough letter to find a topic for. I had so many questions running through my mind as to what should be the subject of my post. And then it hit me harder than a freshly opened syringe to Barry Bonds’ biceps: questions. Therefore with some personal enigmas combined with the inquiries of others, I have gathered this list of life’s unanswered questions that have left me in the above pose for hours on end. Let me know if you have any of the answers…

Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

Where did Noah put all of the Woodpeckers?

If you soak a raisin in water, does it turn back into a grape?

If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make the sound for them?

How come no one gets an “E” for a grade?

Do illiterate people fully appreciate the joys of Alpha-Bits cereal?

Do Chinese people throw hamburgers at weddings?

Did Adam have a belly button?

If marriage means you “fell” in love, does divorce mean you climbed back out?

Why would Wile E. Coyote keep going back to ACME if their products continually failed him?

Why is the letter L in the word Noel?

If you were in a sword fight with a Samurai, would you really use a pen?

How come during the Renaissance, naked women being painted was classified as “Art” when today it’s classified as pornography?

If one Siamese twin commits a crime, do you send both of them to jail?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Would a kamikaze pilot wear a helmet?

Who in their right mind put the letter “s” in the word lisp?

Where did Preparation’s A-G go?

What would you bury a vampire in? A twin size bed?

Do Vegetarians eat Animal Crackers?

What isn’t the number 11 pronounced “onety-one”?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

And the one unanswered question that will continue to baffle us at school dances for the rest of eternity:

Is the Hokey-Pokey really what it’s all about?