I is for i-Life

Do you have an i-phone? If you don't have an i-phone, well then, you uh...don't have an i-phone. I will admit that has to be hands down one of the most arrogant, better-than-thou advertisements I have ever witnessed in my career of analyzing marketing techniques. But in all reality, that statement is true. If you don't have an i-phone, then you really don't have an i-key to the
i-doorway that the world is being i-shoved into.

We all soon enough will have an i-life. i-life being defined as a world where everything begins with, and is rotated by something with an i- prefix. I already have an i-life as sad as that sounds. I have an i-phone. I have an i-pod. I have an i-Mac. I have an i-bumper to cover my i-phone. I have i-TV. I have i-Tunes on my desktop. I have an i-alarm clock. I use an i-auxiliary cable to hook my i-pod with i-Tunes into my i-vehicle. Ok, maybe not that far, but I'm about to go all in that my car's maker will soon be known as i-Nissan.

Should I be embarrassed about this i-lifestyle? i-don't think so! There's nothing wrong with every single one of my digital outlets having an i-stamp on them with a partially eaten fruit engraved above it. If Apple were to go down, I would more than likely fall to my knees in i-agony and begin pouring out the i-tears. I mean at that point, I wouldn't have a working i-phone. How else could I i-blog on my i-phone with my blogpress app aquired from i-Tunes? My i-ego would be ruined! Ruined I say!

I don't think that there is really anything that we can do to slow down the i-pace. It's moving faster than Ussain Bolt plus Marion Jones. (With the steroids. Which she more than likely downloaded from i-illegal growth hormone distributors.) Can you envision it? One day rather than going to rent an apartment, we would just contact the nearest Apple store and look to download the latest i-Pad. This newer version of the i-Pad will be a fully functional digital place to eat, sleep, and i-chat, replacing the former version which is currently a combination of the i-Mac and the i-pod.

Food will no longer be needed. By downloading the latest app on our i-phones we will be i-ingesting breakfast, lunch, and dinner. With an i-dessert of rainbow sherbet afterward. Schools will be abandoned once Steve Jobs perfects i-cognition and all you need to do is stick the 14-inch long i-lever into the back of your skull to learn Jujitsu, or how to fly an Apache helicopter. (That's for you Erik) Our lives, will be our i-lives.

Is that sad? Maybe. Is it inevitable? More than likely. Am I going to find my i-wife by downloading the latest i-spouse app to my i-phone? As long as she cheers for the i-Buckeyes, i-will be fine with that.