Day 3

Wait, wait, let me get this straight, it's only Tuesday? It feels like November right now this week has been such a marathon. Is this what a marathon feels like Rhinestone Cowboy? If so, I want my money back.

For full effect, download "You Make My Dreams" by Hall and Oates and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. That one's for you Mr. Dixie Bo Jackson.

Quote of the day-There's actually two, both of which proclaimed by the Mrs. Dixie Bo Jackson:

"That's a buttload. I mean honestly, how many of those do you think you can fit up your butt?"

"This wouldn't really happen if I had a penis."

And the fourth rule of R.O.A.D.S. stated by THE Rhinestone Cowboy-One can never state that their favorite waiter is someone that they are related to. And man, Dustin was amazing. I would be willing to have his baby. That just might take some penis basketball though.

For some reason today feels like the second day of my two-year extended stay across the country. This morning that we spent in Wasatch seems like a decade ago. And for some reason both my voice box and heels have gone numb.

For the record, please shed a tear for the Miss Piggy. I had been looking forward to seeing my dearest lover after months of separation, when at the last moment she was snatched from my grasp. Life goes on I guess. One day we will meet again.

Today has been overloaded with swearing and farting. I know, that's a very odd combination. But this is day three of the road trip. And we're losing our sanity. Especially when we've mentioned that the Kennecott copper mine can be seen from space, three days in a row. Yeah, we're losing our minds if conversations are covering topics like that.

That, and penis basketball.