I Wish That I Could Be Like The Cool Kids

A recent study from that one school that shall not be named linked an increase in Facebook usage to a decrease in your own satisfaction and a higher likelihood of personal depression.

 Homer Simpson: “To Social Media! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

For full effect, download “Cool Kids” by Echosmith, and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. Seriously, if there were one song that fits a blog post more than any I have ever suggested, it would be this. You need to download this to trigger an emotional rush while you’re reading my words.

We care about other people’s lives more than we care about our own, plain and simple. And Facebook is the number one way to prove we are insignificant wastes of space living in some screwed up form of life that no one else has dragged themselves down to. We stare at our phones, and our tablets, and our laptops, ogling over the life that other people have and wish we could have a taste of their glory. If only we had what they had, if only our lives were as ‘cool’ as theirs were, only then would we be happy. Because everyone else plastered on social media is in a constant state of euphoria with no troubles at all. Why can’t we be like them?

Why can’t we have the freedom to travel wherever we want to like Kait Brinkerhoff and take an endless amount of snapshots in awesome faraway places like Korea, or Minnesota, or Toquerville? Why can’t we have picture perfect family photos taken like Benji Woahn did at Longhorn Stadium with all of his siblings in Cougar Blue supporting a blowout win? Why can’t we have adorable looking kids like Scott and Meg Bingham who are all content with one another and have absolutely no problems whatsoever and undoubtedly never fight over things like who got more ice cream in their bowl or whatever “normal” kids fight over these days? Heck, their Facebook wall suggests they never fight or argue or have any #firstworldproblems like the rest of us, so that has to be true, right?

We compare our own lives to the lives of former friends and acquaintances and think we are steaming piles of cow dung with no hope whatsoever. We overanalyze our character and rip our self-esteem to shreds because in our eyes we aren’t as “cool” as they are. We think they are complete, that they have no flaws. We think that they are without fault. And we on the contrary, have plenty of garbage to tote around. We hold them to an elevation that is unattainable in our own eyes, something that we will never taste. If only our lives were as perfect as theirs then oh boy, then we would be okay.

But the thing is, they are not perfect. Spoiler alert, nobody is.

Everyone has problems. Big ones, little ones, and everything else in between. Of course you’re not going to broadcast your calamities to the rest of Facebook looking for sympathy, you’re only going to put your best foot forward on the worldwide web. But the truth of the matter is that these people who we see as perfect, as untouchable, people whose barrage of pictures leads us down the road to depression because we think they have no problems whatsoever and live the perfect life that we want more than anything else in this world, well, I’m just going to go out on a limb here, but they sure as sin aren’t as perfect as we think.

Now I’m not dragging Benji, or Kait, or Scott and Meg Bingham under the bus, because in all reality they are incredible people who I undoubtedly admire and respect. But why do we look at figures like these on the digital walls of our internet lives and want what they have, thinking that we are worthless, that we have no value, that we aren’t going anywhere in our lives, and if only we had pictures of BYU football games, or Korean dress parties, or children plucked from a Sears catalog decked out in J.Crew fashion blowing on dandelions, only then would we finally have value?

The study concludes stating it is obvious that “Facebook usage had a significant negative relationship with self esteem. In other words, the results indicated that users who spend more time on Facebook have lower self-esteem. It causes depression as well as what’s known as the ‘fear of missing out’.” We feel like part of our life is absent. We sink to the scum of depression because we are missing certain things in our own worlds. Our self-esteem takes a swift kick to the groin because we scroll down an endless page of harmony that isn’t ours.

Turn it off people, just turn it off. Quit comparing yourself to someone else. Quit thinking you have no value just because your life isn’t photoshopped to the nines like you think everyone else’s is. This is a screwed up, messed up, blacklist world where everyone out there has baggage. You are amazing. Remember that. Keep calm, and carry on. You’re gonna be just fine.