Who Knows?

There are moments in our life that will shape our character and alter the road we will take. I know that sounds like single Mother poetry in a Starbucks or some kind of Ray Bradbury/Robert Frost concoction doused in brandy, but I don't care. We have moments in life that change who we are, moments that mold the role we have undertaken for this crazy existence we all checked ourselves in to playing. 

In some of those moments we feel great. Marriages, births, Junior Prom doorstep scenes with our pretty dates in lacy yellow dresses. Walking on stages wearing a cap and gown and hearing an audience cheer on the announcement of our name while we're handed a paper symbol of our education. Those are the moments we L-word. That we adore. That make us feel great about what lies ahead.  

Some of the moments we hate. Divorces, deaths, breakups over text messages. Going to meet up with an old college chum and finding out about his addiction to pornography and meth. These are the moments that scare us in to changing our ways, hashing out old habits, and adjusting our character so we can hopefully learn from the woes that have befallen us. 

And then there are moments that we just don't know. New jobs, new homes, new relationships with people we are unsure about. These are the moments that leave us tortured for days. That provoke us to keep our eyes open at three in the morning wondering if the choices that we did or did not make were the correct ones. These are the moments that haunt us, that intimidate us, that make us question the validity and certainty of the role we have previously undertaken. These are the moments where we can't help but wonder about for days on end. 

Today I had one of those moments. 

And who knows where it will take me.