Why I Don't Settle Down

A few weeks back I was eating lunch in a Mexican cafe in Logan with a guy who is facing the same single-life conundrum that I am, wondering where on earth our girls with yellow umbrellas may be hiding.

As you read this you may ask yourself, "Why does this guy always blog about falling in L-word? He rehashes this topic at least twice a month." Well, this is just my rebuttal to all of the pictures you're posting about your two-year old son with chocolate cake all over his face, or your four-year old daughter just learning the triumphs of not wetting the bed. Do you think every social media connection you have wants to see the visual accomplishments of you being a parent? If so, then enjoy my blogposts about falling in L-word. Because this is the closest thing I have for a chocolate-covered three-year old retiring their diapers.

For full Cache Valley effect, play any song made in between 1986 and 1994, because for some reason Q92, Logan's most happening radio station seems to think that the music industry stopped producing in 1994. Who else listens to the Eurythmics, and AHA Take On Me? That's right, no one.

Back to single-digit temperatures where two eligible bachelors shoveled down steak burritos and volleyed back and forth recent dating experiences that were both successes and failures. What else are two 27-year old good-looking single guys supposed to talk about?

Jo: "Do you ever wonder if our standards are too high? That maybe we're being just a little too picky than we should be?"

For the past few years, this rhetorical question has been debated in my head long after midnight when I lay in bed alone staring at my ceiling. Is it bad to be picky? Am I asking for too much in a potential spouse? Am I really just an egotistical bastard who thinks far too highly of himself?

The majority of you reading this may agree with that last statement, "Yes Brock, you are a bastard. We know this. You are asking way too much for a mate. Being picky will keep you single till the day you die."

My response to you is, why shouldn't we be picky? Why do I have to settle for a spouse who I'm only "OK" with? Why are there heavy cultural influences pressuring me to get hitched as fast as I can just so I'm not a shameful 27-year old bachelor who rides solo at summer family reunions?

Over the course of our lives, selecting a spouse is arguably the most important decision we will ever make. Whether it's from a romantic point of view, wanting to only fall in L-word with one person, or from a business perspective, because let's be honest, serious relationships are financial investments. Any way you look at it, who you choose to be with is the most crucial decision you will ever make. Why do you think you should rush it, or let alone make a mediocre choice when there could be better options out there for you?

Again, you may be saying, "Brock, you conceited little bastard, you can't be so picky. These 'Perfect 10's' don't exist anywhere! You have your head on a pedestal, thinking you're the greatest bachelor since sliced bread. Why can't you just settle down and be content with a girl who at best is a six or seven?"

Because I don't want to lay in bed long after midnight and have mental battles with myself wondering if I made the right decision about the woman sleeping next to me. Which is what hundreds of thousands of unhappy couples are doing every single night.

Jo: "So do you think we're being too picky man? I mean, maybe we're going after a treasure that doesn't even exist. A girl that isn't real."

Swamp Thing: "People can thrash us to pieces saying we're too picky, saying that we're full of ourselves, and that we should just be content. Who knows? But maybe, just maybe there's a pair of girls in a Mexican cafe somewhere else having this same conversation that you and I are having right now, wondering if the perfect man for them is out there too."

I sure hope so.