Dates With Myself

So I sit here in the epitome of a run-down old-timers movie theatre in classic Richfield, Utah. Yes that's right kids, I'm hard at work on a Tuesday night, fully immersed in my attempts at convincing high school students to join the ranks of the Red Storm. If you read my last post you caught a sliver of a glimpse at what life is like for me, on the road in the middle of nowhere that is.

For full effect, download "Sparks" by Coldplay from iTunes and play at maximum volume throughout the duration of this post. No, seriously, stop reading this blog right now and get that song. It is hands down the best possible background music that can be played while you read about the adventures of my life.

All 36 of you.

As mentioned a few days ago, it is difficult to have a relationship on the road. It really is. Not many girls want to go out with a guy that they'll see once every four weeks. And it's hard to schedule a date with a girl when I'm driving all over Utah.

Swamp Thing: "So uh, you want to go out some time?"

Jane Doe: "Yeah, we really should. When are you free?"

Swamp Thing: "Well, we could uh, go out when I get back from that financial aid night in Price. How about I'll come pick you up around 1:45 in the morning when I'm pulling into town?"

Her response of the click of her telephone has become all too familiar to me at this point. That sound is just one of the many factors that causes me to settle for a nice evening of serenading myself to sleep.

Having a social life on the road is in essence difficult to say the least. When my friends are getting together for the weekend to have a road trip to Las Vegas and all I can give them is a figurative high five 536 miles away, it makes it tough to keep up with all of my interpersonal relationships other than through Facebook and text messages.

It is because of all these circumstances that I have developed a new dating system. I have found one of the most perfect, humorous, tall dark and handsome glasses of water that I have ever laid eyes on, and someone who I L-word spending every waking moment with.

Myself.

I know this sounds weird, but hear me out. This may appear to be comical and in a humorous fashion, but honestly being on the road has given me the impression that the only one who I have time to have a serious long-term relationship with is the guy who I see every morning as I look in mirror. And I will admit, he is devilishly handsome.

Take tonight for example. I picked myself up around 7:00, drove 97 miles across Utah where I had dinner at PepperBelly's, a Mexican/drive-in diner attempt at a restaurant. My date wasn't that talkative over dinner. All he did was stumble through his spicy mashed potatoes and kept checking his iPhone for score updates on the Indians-Tigers game.

After dinner (which by the way I had to pick up the check for) we stopped by the theatre where we're at now. Again, this kid wasn't that talkative so I decided to pull out my phone and blog. I hate playing head games with him, but for some reason I seem to be able read him so well and know exactly what he's thinking about ALL the time. Uncanny, I must say.

This may sound semi-hilarious, but this is just the way that I live my social life these days. I work, and study, and go to dinner and movies with myself. That's just the way that it works. I've got no complaints at all. I really don't. I have enough self-confidence that I really can go to a cheap Mexican diner and a crummy movie theatre all by myself. And I'm used to it. Who knows how long this relationship is going to last? And hey, I may even update my status on Facebook. Is it possible to post that I'm in a relationship with myself?

Whatever happens, I'll be alright out here on the road. And whenever this feeble attempt at a scary movie gets over I'll go ahead and take him home.

Who knows what the doorstep scene will be like.

Location:A Random Theatre in Richfield