Where's The Snooze Button?

Look, I know I'm a day late, a couple hundred bucks short, and two speeding tickets past my usual Wednesday evening post. But please, don't judge.

For full effect, download "The Minstrel's Prayer" by Cartel and play at maximum volume for the next two paragraphs.

I've got nothing left people, I really don't. I've been in a car with a pair of twins for just over 1,300 miles, behind a camera lens for nearly 35 hours, and have less than nine hours sleep in my system since Monday. What month are we in, June? I know I've complained about life on the road in the past, but this week? Holy freaking curse word, this week flat out did me in.

Now I know you're usually looking for some motivational post, some rant about marriage, or some ode to that girl with the yellow umbrella who's standing at a rainy train station somewhere in the near future, but people, the 16-hour coma on my front room couch draped in my sex blanket is calling my name instead. If I don't show up to my sister's wedding in Cabo next week, could someone please come break into my house and insert an IV of Mt. Dew into my frontal lobe, because I've got nothing left.