Let's All Go To The Movies

I know a man who is a movie buff. He L-words them. That’s right, he’s in Lesbian with them.

Wallace Wells: “The other L-word”

Scott Pilgrim: “Lesbians?”

Yes, he’s in Lesbians with movies. Plain and simple. He’s so in Lesbians with movies, that he sees one in theaters on an average of three per week. And that’s why he’s broke. Motion pictures are his addiction. He is a movieaholic. For this post, we’ll give him the blogalias of J.B. Proxy.

With the rising economic difficulties, recreational activities in all shapes and forms are a hard thing to enjoy. The rising cost of cinema, fine dining, and enjoyable hustle and bustle, make it hard for someone to have a habit as addicting as this, and enjoy it on a constant basis. Another hardship that goes along with movie addictions, is the question that everyone faces once they enter the theatre: Am I willing to sell off my first-born child just to pay for a large popcorn and Diet Coke?

Yes that’s right, movie junk food is priced at a ridiculous rate, so ridiculous, that it makes people either have to waste away their Christmas bonuses on a packet of Sour Patch Kids, or be forced to withdraw from sugary sweetness while they watch the latest Sherlock Holmes film. We all love junk food don’t we? Shouldn’t we be allowed to enjoy a box of chocolate without having to give up a bodily organ to obtain that sweet goodness?

This is where the ethical dilemma posed by J.B. Proxy comes into play. Rather than give up an arm and a leg for a box of junior mints and a medium Mountain Dew, the wise movieaholic went to the generic grocery store and purchased sugary chewables for an eighth of the cost of what the folks at the theatre were asking. Then, having a smorgasbord of sweets packed away in his XL shorts, he snuck the treats into the theatre, while the high school senior checking tickets let him pass, unbeknownst about the goodies this fella was bringing in.

Is this wrong? Is it dishonest to bring in outside sweets to a movie theater that asks you to mortgage your home for a packet of Laffy Taffy? Should we be forced to buy that large handful of popcorn for $10.25, or should we be able to make our own rules about what we eat when we go to the movies? I present those four words again to you;

You be the judge.